Welcome to the inaugural Trophy Tuesday at Triplezmom, where everyone gets a trophy.
Especially assholes.
Last month, I attended 3 holiday concerts. At one of them, I got to hear the same dad who was incensed about handing out participation trophies at soccer (which our program only does until 2nd grade, might I add) complain that his kid didn't have a special part in the concert.
(Note to local readers: I don't actually know who this guy is. I see him around, but none of our kids have been in class or on a team together and I've never made the effort to get to know his name, for reasons that are probably already clear. If you know who he is, please don't tell me. I don't want to know.)
He's not the first parent I've heard complain about everyone getting a trophy. He's also not the first parent I've heard complain about how not every kid gets a special moment to shine at the concerts.
But he is the first one I've heard complain about both.
If I was as confrontational in public as I am on this blog (and Twitter), I would have pointed out that while every kid gets a trophy at soccer, every kid does not get a goal. Or a starting position. Or a particularly important position. Or to play in more than half of the game. And then I would have asked him if he thought we should change rec soccer so that every kid had these opportunities.
But since I'm not usually confrontational in public (except for that one time when that one mom tried to sneak into the fall play for free, but that's another post) I just glowered at him, silently hoping his kid(s) are well-behaved and/or filled with enough stage presence to get special parts at the spring concert so I don't have to listen to him again.
I actually have no idea how kids get their little moments at the concerts, though I know that auditioning is required for some of them.
I'm not sure whether this dude thinks singing and performing aren't skills like soccer footwork and speed, or thinks that the music teacher is ignoring his children's talents. From other comments, I suspect the former.
Which is why I'll never be friends with this guy. My kids are not gifted athletes. Two of them don't even qualify as athletic and the other threw off that mantle after a particularly rough season of travel basketball. But those trophies they got from rec soccer and swimming? They were really proud of them - they felt like they were being recognized for always showing up and trying their best. The trophy may have been the only reason Hugmonkey kept playing soccer after having a very hard time in pre-k. And while I know we're all about kids specializing at a very young age (despite how wrong it is) , I feel like 5 is too young to have to choose a sport.
Or to decide that you're not sporty.
Just like I would say 5 or 8 or 10 is too young to say that you're not musical or able to perform onstage. That's why I support every kid going to music class and performing at least through elementary school.
But fuck you if you think musicality or stage presence or the ability to memorize are not skills just as valuable as those you think are possessed by kids who "deserve" the soccer trophies.
Seriously. Fuck you.
Also, fuck you if you think young children shouldn't be rewarded or praised for showing up and trying their best.
And a special fuck you to anyone who thinks the average first grader doesn't know who's great at soccer, reading or singing. Kids know. But we don't tell them to quit reading just because they aren't reading the hardest books. We encourage them to keep reading, we point out that kids learn to read well at different rates, etc.
We need to do that with sports and music and art and social skills too.
And we definitely need to remember the six little words, no matter what our kids are doing.
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