The Perils of Perimenopause

Perimenopause is like puberty. But in reverse. And without the myriad information sessions, books, articles and funny videos. I don't think I heard about it until a friend was going through. I was 35 or so at the time. 

I know some women glide through it just fine. Like I glided through puberty with just the occasional zit. I had no idea how lucky I was at the time, because I am definitely not gliding now. 

I'm pretty sure my periods are trying to kill me. Luckily they only  try for 3 days each month.

Top Ten Reasons I Cried During Those 3 Days Last Month

1. An episode of Blackish. Which is a comedy. 

2. The store was out of the chocolate I wanted. But had 4 other kinds I like.

3. That ASPCA commercial with all of the abused animals. Pretty sure that's the point. 

4. The store stopped carrying the kids' favorite kind of rice. Acme has it. 

5. Contemplating finding a new grocery store. I already hit 2 most weeks anyway. 

6. Oprah's speech at the Golden Globes. I think it was meant to be uplifting. 

7. The fact that Woody Allen still has a career. Definitely rage tears. 

8. My sunglasses broke. The sunglasses are from Dollar Tree. I have more.

9. I didn't exercise one day. You don't want me to detail all the things that were wrong with my body on that day, but let's just say I'm pretty sure even Jillian Michaels would have forgiven me. 

10. I dropped a grocery bag on my toe. Nothing broke. It only hurt for like 5 seconds.