It's sort of like having pleasant co-workers; I enjoy talking to them at work, but no one gets together after hours. And while the lack of after hours socializing prevents deep friendships, it also helps avoid drunken antics and hurt feelings and fights and general drama.
So imagine my surprise when one of these pleasant co-workers forwarded me (and a few other innocent bystander moms) an email argument she was having with another mom. And then she sent another email to a larger group of moms that put us all into the middle of her drama.
I'm not going to get into the details of the argument - since I shouldn't even fucking know about it - but I will say this; don't be confrontational about hearsay from children.
Anyway, I'm not sure why I'm posting about this, except to ask, is this kind of crap normal? My jaw dropped so far while I was reading the emails that I may have drooled a bit; I can't remember ever dealing with stuff like this.
At least not on email - which we didn't have when I was in high school and this kind of drama was par for the course. The whole crowd of moms hovers close to, if not above, 40. The only people who have an excuse to behave this way over the age of 25 are people on the Real Housewives.
Since no one is paying me to act like an aging prom queen on Bravo, I did not respond to the forwarded emails, nor the email essentially asking us all to pick a side. In high school, I would have written a scathing diatribe back (on paper, since that's what we used to communicate back then) detailing not only why the rest of us shouldn't have been dragged into the fight, but how the forwarder was completely in the wrong in the fight anyway. I also probably would have told the whole story to everyone in our mutual circle of acquaintances.
I was very passionate about my opinions in high school.
Now I can only imagine that someone who could create all this drama (she even created the initial fight, to be honest) has all kinds of issues. Issues that will not be helped by me yelling at her. Obviously, she must be terribly unhappy with something in her life. Or several somethings. But since no one is paying me to be her therapist and she doesn't seem to be a danger to herself or her kids, my instinct is to just pretend this never happened.
And yet I have this terrible fear that she's not going to let it go. That we'll be innocently chatting at a birthday party or the playground or whatever and she will bring up the whole mess. This fear is shared by the other innocent bystander moms, we all agree it seems likely. So then what do I do?
No, seriously. What do I do? Duck out of the conversation? Calmly suggest that she's at fault for all of it? Nod, smile and back away slowly? I'm not going to listen to her badmouth another mom and/or kid, that's for sure.
This is why I don't socialize more. I can't handle stressful interactions.
At least not on email - which we didn't have when I was in high school and this kind of drama was par for the course. The whole crowd of moms hovers close to, if not above, 40. The only people who have an excuse to behave this way over the age of 25 are people on the Real Housewives.
Since no one is paying me to act like an aging prom queen on Bravo, I did not respond to the forwarded emails, nor the email essentially asking us all to pick a side. In high school, I would have written a scathing diatribe back (on paper, since that's what we used to communicate back then) detailing not only why the rest of us shouldn't have been dragged into the fight, but how the forwarder was completely in the wrong in the fight anyway. I also probably would have told the whole story to everyone in our mutual circle of acquaintances.
I was very passionate about my opinions in high school.
Now I can only imagine that someone who could create all this drama (she even created the initial fight, to be honest) has all kinds of issues. Issues that will not be helped by me yelling at her. Obviously, she must be terribly unhappy with something in her life. Or several somethings. But since no one is paying me to be her therapist and she doesn't seem to be a danger to herself or her kids, my instinct is to just pretend this never happened.
And yet I have this terrible fear that she's not going to let it go. That we'll be innocently chatting at a birthday party or the playground or whatever and she will bring up the whole mess. This fear is shared by the other innocent bystander moms, we all agree it seems likely. So then what do I do?
No, seriously. What do I do? Duck out of the conversation? Calmly suggest that she's at fault for all of it? Nod, smile and back away slowly? I'm not going to listen to her badmouth another mom and/or kid, that's for sure.
This is why I don't socialize more. I can't handle stressful interactions.
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