Trying To Make Patience One of My Virtues

I never would have described myself as conventional until I had kids. Open-minded. Tolerant. Unwilling to judge based on looks. That's how I would have described myself before I had children. I didn't judge based on what people were wearing or how their hair looked (unless I already disliked them for other reasons). I assumed kids would have stains on their clothes and messy hair.

And then this one mom, who was probably having her own bad day, said something about Ironflower's stained shirt and Lovebug's messy hair and I haven't been right since. Suddenly I heard judgments everywhere.  Hot Guy has already had to say things to the children like, "Just wear what your mother wants. It'll be easier," and "Just make your mother happy and let her fix your hair."

I have been trying to combat this, mostly because I don't want my kids' judging other people for how they look. Also, I should probably save up this energy for the battles that will be coming in the future; shorts and Uggs, shorts in the middle of blizzards, shower shoes as daily footwear, etc. So when Lovebug wanted to have longer hair, I let him.

Grudgingly.

And because we can't get the weekly trims it would take to maintain his hair at this length (seriously, the kid has the thickest hair EVER), this is what happened. I would try to control it for certain occasions, but if there was any wind/sweat/sleep whatsoever, we were doomed. Well, I was. Lovebug didn't seem to care at all.

And I tried. I tried to let him make his own decision, when I wasn't nagging him to use conditioner and product. I felt like forcing the kind of haircut I wanted would undermine all those times I told him he was a smart kid who made good decisions (Lovebug can be really, really, really hard on himself). So I had to wait.

Patience has never been one of my virtues.

It's a Jersey thing. I think.

In the meantime, as Hugmonkey's hair also grew way too long for my preference, I had to let go of some of my conventional standards. Which has been freeing. Or so I tell myself.

And then, Lovebug asked for a haircut. A short haircut.

He loves it. He's proud of himself for choosing it. I didn't have to force him to do anything. Everyone is happy.

My conventional side most of all.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to let go of that side, which really comes from not wanting people to judge my kids harshly or have an extra reason to pick on them.

But I have learned that I can be more patient. And that it's worth it.