4/07/2014

Never Have I Ever: Mom Edition

Who has (possibly hazy) memories of playing the drinking game, "I Never"? Apparently now it's called, "Never Have I Ever" but the premise is the same. One person makes an adult-type statement, such as "Never have I ever had sex," and then everyone who has had sex has to take a sip of their alcoholic beverage. A way to be a good sport was to say something that you had, in fact, done. So if we were playing together right now, I might say, "I never played drinking games." And then I would drink.

One of the things that I always liked about the game was that it was a great way to build rapport and to find out you weren't alone in some of your stupid mistakes. I've been going through old blog posts lately, and one thing that strikes me is how alone I felt in my earlier days of motherhood. I was sure no one else's kids threw as many tantrums as mine, or that I was the only one who spent an entire day covered in stains and messy hair. So. . . .


(You don't HAVE to drink if you've ever done any of these things. You can just mention it in the comments. Or chuckle to yourself. But if you'd like to drink, have at it. I won't be drinking, because I've done all of them and Monday morning is not an appropriate time to get white girl wasted.)

Never Have I Ever:

  • Gone out in public in clothes I thought were presentable only to find out that I have baby spit up down my back.
  • Accidentally flashed anyone while breastfeeding in public.
  • Licked my baby's pacifier after it fell on the floor and stuck it back in his mouth.
  • Had my toddler scream so loudly in the grocery store that people turned to stare. 
  • Restrained my toddler so that I could get him into his car seat.
  • Had my toddler run away from me in a public place. 
  • Bribed my child with my phone to get him to behave.
  • Had to carry my child out of a play date.
  • Accidentally cursed in front of my children so often that they said, "Shit!" when they dropped something as toddlers.
  • Given in to my toddler's demands just to stop the screaming.
  • Gone to the store in pajama pants.
  • Forgotten about a class or practice, even though it was written on my calendar.
  • Sent my kid to school in dirty socks because there aren't any clean ones. 
  • Let my kids eat fast food for dinner.
  • Let my kids be on screens for more that an hour a day.
  • Yelled.
  • Secretly donated a toy that I really, really hated.
  • Forgotten to make my child do her homework.
  • Let my kids miss school to do something fun. 
What about you? What embarrassing/not so responsible things have you done as a parent? Let me know in the comments. 

Time for Mom