The trophies above belong to Lovebug. They cover swimming, soccer and baseball. Lovebug has never won a championship in any of those sports. In baseball one year, I don't even think they even kept score. I can hear all the anti-trophy people bristling from here. But the thing is, Lovebug knows he didn't win a championship in any of the sports. He knows he wasn't the best on his soccer team. He knows he didn't win too many races in swimming. He thinks he got those trophies because he showed up at the practices and the games and tried his best every damn time.
And I refuse to see a problem with that. Showing up and working hard is going to get him way farther in life than thinking only the kids lucky enough to be on the winning team (because at the rec level in kindergarten, first and second grade, there's a lot of luck involved) get trophies. I believe that trophies should reward the qualities we want to instill in our kids - hard work, perseverance, teamwork, handling defeat and even winning gracefully.
That also explains why I don't think every kid should get a trophy.
Last summer, Lovebug and Ironflower joined our local pool's swim team. It's not competitive in the way that the year-round swim teams are, but meets are held in other towns and practices are every day (not that you had to go to them every day).
Lovebug fell in love with it, and Ironflower fell in love with the fact that a lot of her friends were on the team. We went to most practices and we went to all the meets. The meets, by the way, involved ribbons for first, second, third and participation. I have no idea where the participation ribbons are, but each kid has their (admittedly few) place ribbons hanging in his/her room. Kids know when they haven't done well and it's insulting to any kid over 5 to think otherwise.
Anyway, at the end of the season there was a potluck dinner and trophies were awarded. For everyone who had worked hard all season, etc., etc. I was cool with this, until a couple of trophies were presented to kids I did not recognize. By blatantly eavesdropping, I was able to learn that the kids had never gone to practice and had only gone to one meet. I was appalled.
Those kids got trophies because their parents had paid for them to be on the team. They did not work hard, show up for practice or even win a bunch of races.
Trophies should be for everyone. Except the kids who don't work for them.
36 comments:
You've made some excellent points
I so agree with you! My son, at the age of TWO, got the BIGGEST trophy I've ever seen just for taking swim LESSONS. It's crazy!
Our school doesn't award each child a trophy or medal. My son is in 5th grade and if they didn't show up to practice or games they were cut.
That said many parents had a hard time getting their kids to practices and games but they reached out to us parents that were going and we all took turns picking up their child so they could participate.
I agree kids should get trophies for a 'job well done' - showing up to each and every practice, competing when they didn't feel like it, holding out until the end even if they wanted to quit - but WOW just showing up for 1 practice? That's definitely not what you want to teach your kids!
The trophy thing has been debated for a while now. I have mixed feelings on it. Maybe trophies for winning teams and then medals or something for a job well done for showing up to practices and giving it all you've got.
I agree that all kids should not get awards/trophies. If they go to all practices, then sure they should get a ribbon or something, but the ones who get trophies should be the ones who really excel. Let's get back to the day where you had to earn a spot on the team, not just have the right parents.
Oh wow, that's a tough one. I can see whey they wan't to give one to everyone, but you would think they would remove those on the team that don't participate?
I think trophies should be earned -not given for participation. It's a big deal to win a trophy and it's deserved. With that being said, I have never won a trophy in my life.
It certainly sends the wrong message when a kid is given a trophy for nothing. I don't mind a participation trophy at all, but if they don't even bother to show up they should get nothing.
You know my sons football team what they did was give the team a trophy then gave all the kids a medal of honor I think the kids should receive something even if its a day at an arcade for their hard work.
We are in total agreement on this one! I think kids should be rewarded for hard work...but not all of the kids DO that hard work!
Wow, I agree with you! I can't believe they'd give trophies to kids who didn't even come to practices!
There's a little overkill on giving trophies to everyone for every little thing. Rewarding kids for showing up to practice and games and working hard is fine. I'm not sure why you would even want a trophy for something you didn't do at all. Anyone can buy a trophy.
I dont like trophies because I dont like "stuff" all over the place....But you're right. I think its also strange that my nephew in kindergarden's soccer team doesn't keep score...I mean people see those balls go in the goal...
I am one of those people who feel that in competitions everyone shouldn't get a trophy. That is what makes it is a competition.
If the kids are told that everyone gets a trophy for participating and doing their best, there is nothing wrong with that. In addition, there is nothing wrong with giving trophies only to the winners of the competition. As long as the kids know why they got the trophy, there is no dishonesty.
Great points. If a kid doesn't put in any effort (or even show up), then a trophy is ridiculous!
I'm all for trophies as a way to encourage kids to stay interested in sports. After elementary school, it should be awarded fairly on merit alone.
You've made great points. I don't think everyone should get a trophy...but then I also don't think in a team sport, any single player should be singled out to receive a trophy either.
You made some good points, and for younger kids I agree that participation awards for those who participate are a good idea. However, after a certain age I do feel like it brings in a since of entitlement with the kids. As someone who has worked in the childcare industry I've noticed that kids now often feel like they should be rewarded for even the smallest tasks because they're rewarded for even participating when it comes to sports.
I think it's very sweet to do whole team trophies, but here that's what the rec teams do. Sometimes it may not be the child's fault, they could have a lazy parent...so in my opinion they should not be left out b/c of lazy parent. Once they get into competitive leagues then I see it being an issue but otherwise I am okay with it!
I think kids who don't participate and go to practice and be part of a team should get anything. Ever.
I remember when my nephew got a trophy for the first time based on merit. He was 11. He turned to his mom and said mom! I got a trophy that MEANS something!
We have some trophies in the house for participation, and some for merit. We love them both. :)
That's a great idea! Every kid that participates should get a trophy!
I think today we focus too much on a physical representation of our activities. The reward for sports/activities should be playing a good game and doing your best.
I agree. If you work hard all year you deserve a trophy. Not just for showing up one time. That sends the wrong message. As a parent I wouldn't have taken my child that night.
I'm pretty indifferent when it comes to trophies. Maybe because my girls aren't really in athletic sports. We always want them to know that their worth is not measured by others.
For kids, it's always nice to get that sense of accomplishment and be awarded (whether it's a trophy or some other award). There can and all to often, does come a time when they start feeling a sense of entitlement too. It can be a fine line, sometimes.
I never know how to feel about the trophies issue. But it would be nice if every child was rewarded in some way for participating.
wonderful post! I also believe in rewarding for hard work, for trying your best, for giving it your all. You don't have to just "win" to get a trophy. It helps build confidence and encourages children to keep trying when they get a little trophy for their hard work. Not everything, especially when it comes to little kids, should be about competition and win/lose. At the same time, a child shouldn't be rewarded if they haven't earned it in some way. If they don't work for it, don't participate, don't attend practice/games, never show up unless there is a reward... well that isn't teaching them anything and no they shouldn't get a reward.
I don't know how they do it now, but our rec. dept. used to give everyone a participation trophy. I valued the trophies and ribbons where I placed something much more than just getting one for being on a team. I think they are definitely overdone!
have to agree with you. "Trophies for all" should be "trophies for all who work hard and do their best." Also - where are the trophies for parents
I remember when I was on soccer in like 1st or second grade everyone got a trophie. By 6th grade i had switched to bowling and NOT everyone got a trophie. They gave out trophies for highest average, most improved, and a few other preformance related ones. Like you said, kids know when they didn't do well. So i didnt expect to get any trophies - but one year I did get most improved and I was thrilled!
I also prescribe to the belief that a trophy should be earned, not bought, you've made some EXCELLENT points about rewarding for hardwork and dedication and committment.
I agree all the kids should get a trophy that work hard and show up. You can only get out of something what you put into it. Those kids will not value or appreciate the trophy.
There seems to be this epidemic of "everyone wins" and "everything is fair" going around in life for our generation of children which is now breeding teens and young adults who don't have the right coping skills or life skills to be proper adults. It makes me sad. I haven't seen too much of this happening in my town, but I have read a lot about things where kids get trophies for not partaking in the events and also I have seen sports that don't score because it's not fair to make the kids feel they should compete or be better than anyone else. I think it's important to teach competition, because we need that as adults in the work force! How is a child going to compete for that "next best job" if they never learned the skill to be competitive and to fight for what they want and deserve?!
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