Good Enough Mom: Birthday Party Survival Guide

Every year our kids get a choice between having a special day out with mom and dad or having a birthday party. I love our special days out. The birthday parties. . . .not so much. I mean, I love making my kid happy and seeing him/her have fun with friends, but that's about it. No one is going to be pinning my Minecraft desserts or clever American Girl decorations on Pinterest, mainly because I have no idea how to make those things actually happen.

I suspect I'm not alone in this; despite what I see in parenting magazines and on Pinterest, most moms I know don't host thematic birthday parties with handmade decorations, healthy homemade snacks and parent supervised games. If you are one of those moms, you can stop reading and go write a business plan for the kids' party business that you should start immediately.

If you are not one of those moms, read on:

Prior to the party:

• Find a venue. The easiest way to handle this is to ask your kid where s/he wants the party and use that one. Unless your kid wants it at your house. Then ask for his/her second choice, because unless your house is huge and has a big yard (and good weather at party time), you'll regret it.  If budget is a concern, look for a smaller local business rather than  a chain of bouncy places. Video game stores, candy stores, cooking schools, karate schools, dance schools, movie theaters and sports places can all be fun places to have parties. If it's winter, pick a place where kids can run around a bit. In the spring and summer, a local playground can work, especially if you pay a couple of energetic teenagers to play with the kids. 
• Use Evite. It will keep track of responses and allow you to send out reminders. Plus you can personalize the invitation (for free) in about 5 minutes. No stress, no organization and no need for stamps. 
• Nail down the details. Ideally, the venue can provide the food, paper goods and goody bags. If not, drag the birthday kid to the party supply store and let him/her pick out the paper goods and the goody bag stuff. Then, organize it together once you get home - at least the day before the actual party. As for food, order pizza and a cake and worry no more. 

At the party:

• Arrive early. Especially if you have to bring goody bags or cake, you'll want to arrive 10 minutes early so you can be all set up before guests start arriving. 
• Greet each kid by name. I substitute taught for a while and I quickly discovered that kids behave better if you know their names. If that means the birthday kid has to whisper each classmate's name into your ear as they arrive, so be it. 
• Set the parents free. Once kids are in kindergarten, they don't all need their parents hovering over them at the party. Plus, if all the parents are there, you'll have to make small talk with them. And chances are you'll have more kids misbehaving if mom or dad is there. Weird, but true. 
• Manage, don't hover. If you've picked a place that's used to having kids' birthday parties, you probably won't even need to manage. Let the party helpers encourage the shy kids and keep kids behaving appropriately. But if some guest is very unhappy, or very inappropriate, feel free to intervene. 

After the party:

• Record who gifts are from. If your kid is out of preschool, s/he can write thank you notes. Or thank you emails. Your job is just to make a list that s/he can use. 
• Have a drink. Being around a group of over-excited children is exhausting; I was less tired teaching a class of 25 first graders for an entire day than I am after one of my kids' birthday parties.