Weighty Wednesday: The Hug I Couldn't Give

I have not come to magically love my body in the last week.

Yeah, I know, I was hoping that writing about it would make it happen too. Oh well.

And yet, I feel better than the woman I overheard the other day. This woman was definitely in better shape than I am, in fact, I thought she looked great. But apparently she wanted to look like her extremely petite friend (even though she was of medium height and had pretty big bones), or something. It was an awkward eavesdrop situation. But you couldn't mistake the anguish in her voice when she discussed how hard she'd worked to lose that 20 pounds. And how her husband didn't appreciate it. Or didn't notice? That part wasn't clear either.

I just wanted to hug her and tell her she looked great. I wanted to tell her to stop starving herself because she was being really grouchy with her kids. I wanted to tell her to use all that energy to paint or write or sing or run a marathon or take up tap dancing or read or run for office.

I have no recollection of where I read this, but it hit home so hard on so many levels that I now have it posted above my desk:

This relates to EVERYTHING in my life, but I mention it here because it's what I wanted to say to the woman I eavesdropped on.

I feel like we're being hard on ourselves when, instead of enjoying a few bites of cake, we eat six sweet potatoes. I feel like we're being hard on ourselves when we don't take the time to enjoy a meal. I feel like we're being hard on ourselves when we do the exercise we hate for 20 minutes instead of the one we enjoy (but doesn't necessarily burn as many calories) for an hour. I feel like any time we make a decision because we feel too fat/bad/sad/worthless/out of shape to ask for what we truly want, we are being hard on ourselves.

Whereas working hard on ourselves is enjoying one slice of cake, instead of scarfing down two because we feel "bad" for eating it at all. Or taking the yoga class we love instead of the boot camp we hate - who cares as long as we're off the couch? I feel like we're working hard on ourselves when we realize there's so much more to our attractiveness or worth than what the scale says. I feel like we're working hard on ourselves when we make choices based on our authentic wishes, not because we're afraid to be in front of other people in a bathing suit.

And by the way? I think you look beautiful today. Hugs.