1. The devotion of Justin Bieber's fan base. Look, the kid is driving drunk and doing drugs and egging houses and smacking limo drivers; if that's not a cry for a spanking and an extended time out, I don't what is. But his fans don't want him to get help; they think he's just great the way he is. Don't tell anyone, but once upon a time I had a HUGE crush on Charlie Sheen (I blame Platoon). But when I found out that he was smacking whores around during coke-filled binges, I didn't defend him. Or even like him so much anymore. Besides, when Miley Cyrus is giving the sensible advice about how to stay out of trouble with the law, it's just a bad sign.
2. Mike Huckabee. The fact that an adult, (presumably?) educated man thinks birth control pills are about women's libidos is depressing on so many levels.
3. History Channel programming. I was an history major as an undergrad, so usually I'm not actually surprised when I see things on the history channel. I know there was a (failed) plot to kill Hitler and I know that the Battle of Gettysburg was brutal, which apparently are the most important episodes in history ever, at least based on how often those stories are on the History channel when Hot Guy turns it on. But at least they are verifiable, unlike the topics I saw on shows yesterday. One was about possible alien influences on historical events, the other was about possible angelic interventions in historical events. I guess if "The Learning Channel" can show Honey Boo Boo, the History Channel can show supernatural speculation. I hope the aliens rescue me before the apocalypse.
4. Austin and Ally. Not only did they "win" my (incredibly small and unscientific) poll about the worst shows on the Disney Channel, there is what may be the worst "romantic" music video I've ever seen.
5. Super skinny jeans. Ichabod Crane, at least as he's portrayed on Sleepy Hollow, came up with this first. But he was right. Super skinny jeans only look good on models and skinny 9 year olds like Ironflower and I can't imagine they feel good on anybody.
6. Vomiting is now art. Click here if you don't believe me, but only if you have a strong stomach. Otherwise, trust me when I say that there's a woman out there who drinks colored milk and vomits it onto canvases, which are then sold as art. Probably for a lot more money than I've ever made for a blog post.
7. J.K. Rowling regrets having Ron and Hermione wind up together. I have no words.
8. A snowstorm paralyzed Atlanta. Not because of the amount of snow, but because of the traffic jams and the inability of all the jurisdictions to work and plan together.
9. Cookie dough Oreos. First of all, why mess with cookie perfection? Leave Oreos alone, you monsters! Second of all, the flavor they decide to put into the cookies is. . . raw cookie? That's just wrong.
What have I missed?
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