2/20/2014

Dear Judy Cox of Orem, Utah

Dear Ms. Cox,

     When I heard you bought $500 worth of t-shirts because you found them pornographic, I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

pacsun.com


In a world where many magazines, tv shows, movies and stores show sexy women in their underwear, your stand against these particular t-shirts seems a bit silly. Have you ever seen the displays at a Victoria's Secret store? Have you seen what passes for bathing suits these days? Has your son ever seen Sports Illustrated? A lingerie catalog? An episode of The Bachelor? Do you honestly believe your teenaged son has never seen a picture of a woman in her underwear? And here's the thing; if he hasn't, he's imagined enough of them that this t-shirt isn't going to truly shock him, no matter what he may have told you.

But my bigger problem is your assumption that a voluptuous female body is inherently pornographic. That sexy is the same as pornographic. That a woman who is not hiding her body is somehow dirty or shameful. That sexual arousal is a cause for shame. These shirts depict no sex acts. The models are consenting adults. The shirts are tasteless, not pornographic.

If you'd like to be outraged, be outraged that young women are repeatedly shown that to be sexy is all that matters. Be outraged that there are no comparable t-shirts with sexy young men in their underwear. Be outraged that this is what sells in our country.

Or maybe take your $500 and donate it to a group that works on the real outrages in our country. Use it to stop human trafficking, or to help victims of sexual violence, or to teach young men (like your son) to stop sexual violence, or to stop sexism in advertising. But that wouldn't get you all over Buzzfeed, would it?

Instead of trying to hide sexiness from your son, teach him how to handle it respectfully. Instead of eliminating these t-shirts from the world, work to eliminate the sexism that inspired them. Instead of throwing a tantrum, start a revolution.

                                                                                                     Yours sincerely,
                                                                                                        TripleZmom

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good thinking in this column. And it applies to far more people than the lady from Orem

Masshole Mommy said...

Well said. I saw this on the news yesterday and I looked over to my husband and said "you know they are just going to replace it with another half naked girl tomorrow, right". And they will. That woman is a fool if she thinks spending all that money is going to make a bit of difference.

MikiHope said...

Her money really could have been put to much better use! This was a very well written article and I sincerely hope that the person who effectively raised the bottom line of the company making these said tee shirts is aware that now they will be using HER money to make more!!

Triplezmom said...

@Mom - Thank you!

@Masshole Mommy - I know! I swear her point was just to be on the internet.

@MikiHope - One article says she's going to return the t-shirts, so it makes no sense at all.

Ashley Gill said...

This is well put. My son will learn how to respect a woman for what she has and what she doesn't. Very well put!

Unknown said...

Young boys need to learn respect for a woman but the more things are hidden from them the less they will know how to respect a woman.

Unknown said...

As the entire definition of Pornography is any stimulus that is MEANT to give a sexual reaction. So yeah, half naked women, the t-shirt, Advertisements, music videos, etc can all be classified as Porn.

We work to shield the smut from my kids. But we also teach them how to handle it because i know I can't block it all. They WILL see those billboards as we are driving around town. But that doesn't mean we have to support it.

I think while she felt she was standing up for her morals; that she didn't do it in a good manner. All it did was give the exploiter MORE money to continue to do what they are doing. Exploiting a beautiful human body for money. She could have spent her money in a much more effective way to get her message across. Or more importantly sat down and talked with her child why she viewed it as wrong.

Unknown said...

Very well put! I will always teach my son to respect a women in every single way possible!

Unknown said...

What a waste of money! To be honest though, this looks like a shirt my hubs would like.

Theresa Mahoney said...

I worked in a bookstore and had some lady chew me out for having Maxim magazine by the checkouts and told me she wouldn't shop there again because her young son didn't need to see it. (Really, it was just a girl in a bikini). I'm sure her young son was too busy looking at the children's books to even notice. I wonder if she ever even took him to the beach, and if she did, spent the whole time telling the girls to cover up? Some people need a serious reality check!

Amanda Love said...

That's just crazy and stupid. It's just a case of someone with too much money and very little common sense. Maybe Mrs Cox need to learn the true meaning of pornography.

Liz Mays said...

I'm not so much a fan of the shielding methodology. I feel like that doesn't prepare kids for reality.

Amanda said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. Hiding your kids from "the world" only hurts them in the long run.

Michelle H said...

Your thoughts are very well put together. I don't know what to think of this situation. On one hand, the world needs more people willing to take a stand for what they believe in-whether anyone else on the planet agrees with them or not. But a discussion with our kids about the things they're going to encounter in the "big bad world" is ultimately going to be what saves them. Great suggestions on causes to support.

Pam said...

I totally agree with you. This money could have been put to so much better use.

Ave said...

I haven't heard of this case, but it seems funny to me. I think it's impossible to keep her son from seeing half naked bodies.

FabulousPerks said...

I've never heard of this case. I honestly don't know what go think of this situation. I do agree with you!

Casa Vilora Interiors said...

I've never heard of this, but did she really spend $500? She will be spending a lot more if she is trying to rid this world of it

Beth said...

I definitely missed this, but I agree with you. You can do a LOT with $500.

Unknown said...

I don't have a son, but do have a daughter. I have always tried to teach her there is a difference between sexual and sexy. I can't imagine how hard it would be to teach young men.

Maria said...

I heard about this and have mixed feelings about it. I agree with why she chose to do this but feel we could have done it differently. glad she is sticking for what she believes. Can't beat that!

Amber Nelson said...

I will definitely be teaching my son to respect women.

Unknown said...

I have mixed feelings over this as well. In many ways she is a hero for getting this out of the store but in other ways, maybe she could have talked to the store owner. You never know he might make more just to see what she will do?

Unknown said...

As a writer, I'm always careful about describing a woman's body. People sometimes get the wrong idea. I think instead of subjecting a woman to wear clothes that they aren't comfortable with, society has to teach men not to disrespect.

Unknown said...

Wow, way to go Judy! lol Well said, she could have use that money in so many other ways that would have had a better impact. She's full of crap in my opinion!

Aisha Kristine Chong said...

Some people - I guess, they take money for granted. :/

Tough Cookie Mommy said...

I think some people get all bent out of shape over nothing and need to spend more time worrying about themselves.

Pam said...

I think she achieved what she set out to do and that is to get her 15 mins or more of fame.

I don't think what she did will really have any impact on removing these type of shirts from further sales.

Nikki said...

I hadn't heard of this woman. I agree with everything you said in your post. There are so many other things to get up in arms about. Human trafficking versus a sexy t-shirt? Hmmm, which one sounds like it matters more? People just need things to get offended about it seems.

mail4rosey said...

I hadn't seen the story in the news, but it looks like from your comments here that it's been a popular story. I'm not so up to date on current events sometimes. ;)

Rebecca said...

i haven't heard this story but i like your take on things so you go girl

Sarah Bailey said...

I haven't heard of this story at all but all I can think is what! Surely her money could have gone to much better use. x

Angie B said...

yea I think this lady went about it the wrong way. I mean, When the company sees a store sold out of this shirt, I think the company is going to say, whatever the reason, let's make more this shirt is hot! Then her, now public, stance I think is going to trigger sales from those that don't agree with her. May have been better to write the company or start an online petition than to prtest in the way she did. I agree with you though, I think kids are gonna see much worse things than a tshirt.