Dance Moms: Not As Outrageous As I Thought

On Saturday, I attended a dance convention. Well, technically, Ironflower attended and I hung around. It was nothing like the one other non-recital dance event I'd been to, a competition in the midwest 15 years ago where I watched a (favorite, I have to admit) former student compete. Ironflower and her teammates were there to take classes and observe some of the competition, which was completely different from what my previous experience and Dance Moms viewing led me to expect. I had expected all competition all the time. But that was about the only thing Dance Moms was wrong about.

Attire: See how my child is dressed? I admit to being a little taken aback when her dance teacher stressed that they not wear midriff-baring tops or dance shorts without tights, as I figured they just did that on Dance Moms to be more wild for TV. Hah. Things I saw on children under 10 who were there for classes, not competing and not appearing on reality television:

• Full stage make-up
• Ruffled booty shorts
• Bra tops that I wouldn't even let my kid where to the beach
• Neon yellow and green tutu with matching bra top and large headpiece
• 4 year olds in lip gloss
• Teeny tiny shorts with no tights or leotards underneath
• Spray tans
• Zebra print and pink ruffles
• One of the moms I was with compared it to Toddlers and Tiaras. She was totally right. 

Ironflower was just thrilled with her new leotard because it was bright blue, not navy or black like she's always had to wear for class. I now understand that not every dance school has a dress code. Or taste.

Kid Behavior: The kids on Dance Moms always seem to be sweet and well-behaved, despite how their dance teacher terrorizes them. Our girls were wonderful yesterday; attentive and polite and able to follow directions. This was true for most of the kids I saw, but not all of them.

• One girl entered the dance room removing her sweatshirt and sweatpants. As she took them off, she scattered them onto the floor. Her mother, trailing behind, picked them up and put them away for her. 
• Another little girl was allowed to have gum. Which she proceeded to pull out and play with. And drop on the floor. And place back in her mouth. I have no idea where her parent and/or teacher was. 
• Several of the girls only participated when the master teacher was watching them. Otherwise they didn't try at all. I have no idea where their parents/teachers were either. 
• Then there was the older group so determined to show off in the lobby that they managed to kick several passer-by. Without apologizing. 

Parent Behavior: I did not see any adults coming to blows, or having screaming matches, like they do on the show. The only thing our group did - that made me think a little of Dance Moms - was complain about some of the other people there. But they deserved it.

• It was super crowded in the hallways. It was impossible not to bump into people. But apparently apologizing for the bumps was not only beyond many of the parents, they actually glared when you apologized. 
• Speaking of crowded, they requested that no strollers go into the main ballroom where the stage was. Most parents parked theirs outside the room, but not one guy. He pushed his (empty) DOUBLE stroller in and blocked an aisle with it. 
• A lot of parents seemed very invested in having their small children wear make up and wear outfits better suited for 20 year olds. I even heard one child asking her mom if she could wear her leotard instead and the mom insisted she stay in her little bra top. WTF? 
• But behavior that most made me think of the Dance Moms was the way some of the parents acted after each dance class. Ironflower's group was in a beginner program called Jumpstart, because they had never been to a convention before. Their classes were taught by talented but not world famous dancers, who would have no way to remember them for the competition the following year. And yet there were parents pushing their kids to stand so far in front they were in the teachers' way, and parents who insisted on photographing their kids with the teachers. 

After her classes were done, Ironflower and the other Jumpstarts got to perform on stage. I tried to record and take pictures (which I only got away with because it wasn't part of the official competition), but it didn't work out very well:

See Ironflower? She's the dot of blue in the back. 

I think her torso is the speck of blue in front of the Jump sign. 

It might have been slightly better if my child had not insisted on being in the back every time. Even during the classes. The only time she stood in front was when her  dance teacher her told her to. Which was a shame, because she did in amazing job - she would have been a great example for many of the younger girls. Some of whom clearly needed it.

But I totally fear turning into a Dance Mom, so I didn't say anything about that. I just told her how much I enjoyed watching her. Which I did. And I'm going to pretend that I don't care that the master ballet teacher really didn't pay any attention to her, even though she was doing really well.

Finding out that Dance Moms doesn't really exaggerate the competitive dance world as much as I would have thought (though, for the record, Ironflower's school is filled with sane parents and caring teachers and no pyramids) is frightening enough. The fact that I might have tendencies in that direction is terrifying.