Weighty Wednesday: These Geese

I think the geese look great. (Wait, those ARE geese, right? I'm not really good with bird species. Except flamingos. Because flamingos are awesome.) Who cares that their rear ends are like four times the size of the rest of their bodies? That's the way they are and there's nothing wrong with that.

If only I could say the same thing about my own ass. Or my stomach. Especially my stomach.

But I'm not as enlightened as your average goose*.

I don't hate my body; I'm too old for that kind of bullshit. There is a wide gulf, though, between not hating and being totally accepting. But I would walk across that gulf, even if it was filled with goose* shit, just to accept my body as it is. Think of how delightful it would be to look at a picture of yourself and focus on the fond memory, not of how you should never wear horizontal striped pants again. Or to just wear what you liked, no matter what the size or the stripe direction. Or to not feel bad for eating the extra cookie. Or to be comfortable wearing your bathing suit in public. Or to not worry about being judged for your weight, whatever that weight happens to be.

I don't know why I think I can accept my body now, when I didn't as a young, thin-ish person, except that I'm generally more accepting now than I was in my youth. Also, smarter. Except about birds.

Someone reading this is probably thinking, "BUT WHERE ARE THE DIET TIPS? YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT WEIGHT WITHOUT GIVING US TIPS FOR LOSING IT!"

That person probably isn't coming back, if for no other reason than for what I'm about to say:

Diets are stupid.

DIETS ARE STUPID.

I'm not saying they can't help you lose weight. Paleo. Nutrisystem. Jenny Craig. Atkins. That diet that Jennifer Aniston's personal trainer recommends. They've all helped someone get the body they wanted. Some of them have probably even had people who actually kept that body long-term.

But in this world, anything you go on - a carnival ride, an airplane, a diet - is also something that you must go off. And for some of us, going off that diet just means making up for all that time you've felt deprived. Or, depending on the severity of the diet, it means making up for all that time your body has actually been deprived. And it means feeling good, or not so good, depending on what the scale says or how your jeans fit or what have you.

This is not a recipe (ha!) for happiness and self-acceptance. Or health, for that matter.

And for a lot us feeling bad leads to over-eating, which leads to dieting, which leads to going off the diet, which leads to gaining weight, which leads to feeling bad, which leads to. . . .

The diet industry making a shit-ton of money and totally gorgeous people feeling bad about themselves because they're not as skinny as Jillian Michaels.

You don't see that happening to geese*, do you?



*Or whatever those are.