Weighty Wednesday: A Box of Waffles

Last summer, I blogged about weight for the first time. And then I got distracted, or possibly I chickened out and I stopped writing about it. If I don't blog about it, I can ignore it. Besides, I wasn't sure that my voice mattered; most of the weight loss posts and articles and pins that I see are about people who've lost 117 pounds, not 17 pounds like I have. Also, they all seem to include people talking about how they don't eat entire boxes of waffles as a side dish anymore.

I mean, I've never eaten a box of waffles as a side dish, or even a meal. By that standard, I should be skinny. And yet. . . .

There I am, hiding behind my children in yet another picture. Lovebug looks thrilled about it, doesn't he?

This whole self-acceptance thing is hard, yo.

So is eating healthier, especially when your colitis flares and you can't eat vegetables, citrus and whole grains. You know what I CAN eat when my colitis flares? Bagels. You know what doesn't shrink your waistline? Bagels.

I've gotten my ass to the gym every week day, at least. 50 minutes of cardio 5 days a week. I've started paying more attention to my heart rate, instead of just following the routine on the machine or trying to keep my pace up. I've been going to the 80% rate, instead of the 65% like I have for the last year.

Sometimes I feel like I want to cry when I get off a machine. You wouldn't think 15% would make such a huge difference, but it does. At least as far as how I feel during and after the workout. Also, I haven't gained any weight on my bagel diet. And all my jeans have gotten super baggy in the waist again.

Someday I will find a pair of jeans that fits me in the hips and the waist. Sure, I haven't since I was 18 and first got hips, but what is life without hope?

Actually, I have a pair of curvy jeans from Kohl's that worked pretty well until recently. I probably need the next size down (woohoo!). . . .except they don't have them anymore (bastards).

I think I'm going to try to check in every Wednesday about the whole weight loss/self-acceptance/exercise/clothes that fit issue. Would you all mind? I don't promise any diet tips or exercise tips or post cohesion, but I will be honest. And realistic.