Pop Culture Thursday: Reality TV Is Bad For Me

I was about to write a post analyzing "Breaking the Faith", a trashtacular show I recorded on Sunday. It purports to follow a bunch of young women fleeing the FLDS and adjusting to life on the outside. Very few things fascinate me more than scary religious cults, and the FLDS is like the scariest, religiousiest, cult out there. Even with their pedophile "prophet", Warren Jeffs, in prison.

Anyhow, the show made me sad for these young girls and all the people caught up in the FLDS, though I was very confused about how and why the girls' alleged escape was caught on camera. So I thought I'd do a little research. 

That was three hours ago. 

I should get paid to research tangents on Google, I swear. 

I now have about 17 windows open, all relating to polygamous Mormon fundamentalists. 

Fundamentalists make me sad. 

Also? Breaking the Faith is all totally fake. Like, not fake in the way the Real Housewives are fake - I mean, I know scenes are staged and people try to get into fights on purpose, but at least the basic bios of the participants are true. Not so much with Breaking the Faith. Which isn't to say that the people (actors? victims of the religion cult?) on the show haven't been through a lot or that they don't have compelling stories to tell. . . .it's just the TLC isn't showing them.

If we're going to watch trash, it should at least be true trash. Like, remember the first couple of seasons of The Real World? That was some compelling reality right there. Completely the opposite of the so-called reality I find myself watching far too often. Sure, it gets the laundry folded, but I'm not witnessing anyone learning anything, let alone learning anything myself (which was my original excuse for trying Breaking the Faith).

Plus, I just spent 3 hours - during the Christmas season - researching a topic that is completely useless to me in my everyday life. But I did learn some fascinating stuff:

• The FLDS is very terrified of African-American people. I wonder how much crossover there is with racist organizations? 
• They think they are the chosen people and that God is plotting to destroy everyone else. God has chosen them to live in crappy houses and avoid socializing. And the internet. I'll go to hell, thanks. 
• Piss off the prophet, and a man will be kicked out - and his wives, children and property will be distributed to other men. And of course no one can complain about it, because having opinions prevents salvation. 
• Marriages can only be arranged by the prophet. Can we say power trip? Did Jesus or Joseph Smith ever try that? 
• But, the perk over regular Mormons is that those in the FLDS can have coffee and even alcohol. Probably makes dealing with the arranged marriages easier. 
• The women don't cut their hair so that they can wash Christ's feet with it during the Second Coming and their husband's feet in Heaven. Because apparently your hair goes with your soul when you die. 
• The FLDS is not the only sect that broke off from the traditional Mormon Church, nor is it the only one that mandates polygamy. Hopefully it's the only one with a pedophile for a prophet, though. 
• Sex, surprise, is only for procreation. Men aren't allowed to have sex with their pregnant wives or women who are infertile. Supposedly now Warren Jeffs says that married couples can't have sex either; women wishing to get pregnant have to pick from his 15 favorites. Like that's not a genetic disaster waiting to happen. 
• Jesus is going to wear red when he comes back. So FLDS people don't wear it. I wonder though, why they don't worry about other details like hair color or shoes. Is he going to wear sandals again? Should they avoid sandals too? 
• For some reason that no one has made clear, they can't have dairy products. Childhoods without ice cream or even frozen yogurt. . . .it's tragic even before you hear about the physical and sexual abuse, the ending of education at the fifth grade level and the horrible living conditions. 

How in the hell did I start posting about Fundamentalist Mormon religious beliefs? What is wrong with me? Is there a name for it? Or is Hot Guy right and I'm losing IQ points because I watched reality television?