Teaching Tuesday: So Your Kid's Starting School

When your kid starts school, it's perfectly normal to freak out about it. Especially if your child is going from the cozy, small and familiar preschool or day care to the huge elementary school, for example.

I once had a first grader who'd never been to school before (I think - and this may have changed, but back in the day, Kansas did not require kids to go to kindergarten). And her mom was worried. The worry just oozed out of her. The little girl had never been to any kind of school or day care before, plus she started the school year late. Her parents were freaked out. She spent the entire first day trying to escape from my classroom. Which might not have been so bad, except that at the time I was teaching in an open concept building - I only had walls on 3 sides of my classroom. AND the stairs were right by my open wall. I actually caught the girl by her ankle a few times, as she sprinted up the stairs to the office where her parents were lingering.

The next day her parents put her on the bus with her cousin and she didn't try to escape once. In fact, she turned out to be a really funny kid and I was thrilled that she'd joined our class.

I'm not suggesting that you send your kid to school with a cousin on the first day, exactly. But I am saying, the more worried you are, the more worried your kid will be. You want to cry about your baby going to kindergarten? Do it in the car after you've said good-bye, not while you're dropping him off. You're worried that your kid will have a terrible time? Hide it.

Above are a few first day of school pictures from the past couple of years. You'll notice that no one is crying. Though Hugmonkey's final look is a bit pathetic, it was because he noticed me tearing up after I thought he was safely entering the classroom. I screwed up, people. He sensed my whole, "My youngest is in preschool daily now, oh my gosh, he's growing up," ambivalence and he started to freak out. Fortunately, I am an accomplished liar and convinced him it was allergies. He went in happily after that.

Look, if you're sending your kid to preschool or kindergarten or even first grade, I promise you the teacher is used to handling new school angst. And unless you're stuck sending your kid somewhere dreadful, the teacher will probably be better at handling crying kids than you are.

But if you'd like to maximize your kid's chances of having a good day, there are a few things you can do:

• Visit the classroom beforehand. Call the school and find out a good time to visit the classroom and meet the teacher before school starts. 
• Find other kids going into the same class and try to arrange a park play date or something. 
• Reinforce independent skills - for preschoolers, make sure your kiddo knows how to ask for help and how to ask to go to the bathroom. For kindergarten, make sure your kid can put on his coat and backpack, manage her clothes in the restroom and manipulate his lunch/snack foods and drinks.
• Read some books - Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes is my favorite, but there's the Miss Bindergarten series, The Night Before First Grade, David Goes to School by David Shannon and Timothy Goes to School are all good for nervous little ones. 
• Turn the first day into a holiday - have a special breakfast, pick out a new outfit together, give a little present (like a new book) or otherwise make it a celebratory occasion. 

What suggestions do you have? And what ideas do you have for starting middle school? Ironflower will be starting at a 4 - 8 school next year and I am rather terrified.