1/22/2013

Ticked Off Tuesday*

So Elizabeth Banks said having two kids makes her feel like a real mom. You could just hear the whole internet going. . . .

Did that bitch just insult my choices? Is she implying I'm not a REAL MOM? Kill her!

Or something like that. I only read the article and skimmed the comments.

I think the "Kill her!" part was merely implied. By hundreds of people who were very upset that Ms. Banks seems to think that having only one child doesn't make you a real mom. Technically, I should be upset on behalf of my mother, who, despite having only one child, was definitely a real mother. Except that I don't think my mother would waste her time being bothered by this statement. She knows she was a real mother - ask her about all the times she had to take me to the pediatrician in an average year.

Totally real mother of one in this picture. Just look at those roots. 


It ticks me off that people are so insecure about motherhood that they can get insulted over anything.

I didn't FEEL like a real mother until Lovebug was two years old and I handled a supermarket meltdown calmly. I had been a real mother for more than 3 years at that point - nursing, getting up in the middle of the night, changing diapers, getting thrown up on - but it wasn't until then that I felt like one.

This is not to say that if I'd had only one child, I never would have felt like a real mother. I'm sure Ironflower would have provided me a moment to feel like a "real mother" eventually. My point is that when we ARE real mothers and when we FEEL like them are two different things. If it took Elizabeth Banks two kids and time without a nanny to feel it, why does it matter to the rest of us?






*I know that I rant a lot. I have decided to accept it instead of letting it boil up until it explodes with like ten rants in the space of a week. So welcome to my new weekly feature, "Ticked Off Tuesday." Feel free to put your own rant in the comments. I may have tried this before. I can't remember, so I'm assuming you can't either. 


5 comments:

Cindy Lou Who said...

What the hell is wrong with people? Everybody gets all offended over the most nothing little shit. This rant about being a "real" mother makes me want to rant about all those people who, when they find out I'm adopted, ask "don't you want to meet your real parents". I mean, really? So, because she adopted me, my mom isn't a REAL mother? WTF? I just want to kick those people in the taco and tell them my adoptive parents ARE my real parents, even when there was just one adopted child. Adopting a second child didn't suddenly make them more "real" parents than they were with one child. I could scream right now, with frustration for all parents who have been treated as "less than" by some stupid asshats that don't know shit.
Rant over.

Triplezmom said...

@Cindy - Down with the asshats! Also, with people who don't understand adoption. Yikes.

Leslie said...

Sometimes it feels like people are just waiting to be offended, doesn't it?

For me, the idea of motherhood has been redefined a bit with the addition of each child. I definitely see things differently now that I have more than one, but I certainly don't believe that I was less of a mother when I had less children.

LucidLotus said...

I'm constantly reassessing what being a real mother means to me. Every new challenge or milestone makes me think, oh shit now I know what it really means to be in the trenches. But I've been there since the kid was born, which is really what being a real mom means. To me anyway

Tracie Nall said...

I really like what you said here, "when we ARE real mother and when we FEEL like them are two different things." That is so true.

Today I feel like a real mother who wants a break. Maybe Elizabeth Banks wants to come babysit for me?