10/15/2012

Oh Facebook, I Can't Quit You

I'm a member of a secret Facebook group. Not SECRET secret, as there are a few other members. But secret, as in Facebook can't tell everyone that we're in it.

Yet.

The Wall Street Journal recently published an article about two college students who were outed to homophobic family members because they were invited to join a group called Queer Chorus.

The group was open, so that meant everyone could see everything.

Also, now if you are invited to a Facebook group, it is assumed that you want to join. You can quit, but not until everyone sees that you're in the group, "People Who Hide the Good Halloween Candy From Their Kids". Could I invite people to an "I Act Like I'm Still in High School" group? Or an "I Was Kind of a Douchebag in High School" group?

Not that I would ever start such such groups. Of course. Imagine the embarrassment it would cause the people I invited!

Not that I am friends with any of those people on Facebook, but they are friends of friends, so I think I could. . . .

Um, wait. I am actually writing this post because this whole group invite thing is BAD.

You shouldn't be forced to join any group just because they invited you. Imagine that happening in real life. Tea Party people accosted me at the post office last year, folks. They INVITED ME TO JOIN. If it had happened on Facebook, there would have been a notice in the activity log of all my friends and family saying I had joined the Tea Party.

Everyone I know would be wondering if I had a brain tumor to account for this massive personality change or if I'd just started popping pills or something.

I think you should have to accept invitations to be included in groups and I think you should have to agree to have group memberships shared publicly. However, I don't think Facebook cares about my opinion. I don't think it would help to protest or complain.

So, consider this a warning. If you want to start a group, make it secret unless you are completely positive that no one could ever be embarrassed, hurt or worried about joining it publicly.

I suppose you could also leave Facebook. If you're made of stronger moral stuff than I am.






7 comments:

Leslie said...

Okay, this explains a lot. Last week, some lovely person invited me to join their weight loss group. (Isn't that the sweetest way ever to call someone fat?!) I would NEVER join that group for a variety of reasons, the first being that they're just trying to sell some crap product. But then I started getting all these updates in my news feed from them....just found that when I actually went to the page, it said I was a member and I NEVER CHOSE THAT. I had to choose to leave the group. Ugh! Not cool, Facebook. NOT COOL!

Tracie Nall said...

A lot of people also don't realize that if a group is "closed" when they post things to the group, they often show up in their friend's timelines...even if their friends aren't in the group.

Secret groups are the only ones that aren't seen - but I always post carefully in these groups, keeping it in the back of my mind that facebook could change the rules at any time and make those groups visible.

Unknown said...

There are so many things that annoy the crap out of me about fb. This is just one more thing. Should we start a group called "I can't stand FB but can't seem to quit it either"?

Catootes said...

That's funny. I was recently invited to a group I did not join and now i get all these annoying email updates from that group. A group I am politically not aligned with and it drives me crazy. Not crazy enough to fix it because that takes effort!

But thanks for letting me know why now.

Cindy Lou Who said...

I left the book of face lonk ago because of bullshit like this. Facebook sucks.

LucidLotus said...

FB is the suck. Mark Zuckerberg is the new millenium's Beavis, sniggering like a mouth-breathing dolt at every new way he comes up to screw us over.
Revolution, people. We can take him.

Triplezmom said...

@Leslie - That stinks! I think this is one of those "unfriending times"!

@Tracie - I'm definitely doing that too. I didn't realize about the closed group thing, I just thought people could see that stuff if they went to my page. Damn.

@Dawn - Yes, and we'll invite Mark Zuckerberg.

@Catootes - It's so wrong!

@Cindy - You are a better woman than I am.

@LucidLotus - Pretty soon our nasty thoughts will show up on our stupid timelines.