In Defense of Reality Television

In 1992, I began my love affair with reality TV. This was back when The Real World was groundbreaking television and the people appearing on it had personalities, not labels. A lot has changed in the last 20 years (political maps, computers, my boobs), but my love for reality TV has not.

(We did take a break for a few years, reality TV and I. After I outgrew The Real World, there weren't a lot of options. When Survivor became so popular, I refused to watch it on principle. It wasn't groundbreaking, it was pandering. It was putting writers out of work. Then, of course, I agreed to watch it once to please some friends. I watched that season and the next few. But by the time I was over it. . .)

There was a reality TV show for everyone. Not ABOUT everyone, like there is now, but definitely a good enough variety to make most Americans forget any principles they may have had. And forget I did. Temptation Island was the next one I watched. I would like to blame that one on the guy I was dating at the time, but since he stopped watching reality television when we broke up and I started watching Big Brother instead, I really can't.

It only got worse after I had kids and became addicted to basic cable.

Hot Guy is baffled by my love for the Real Housewives. And Dance Moms. And Project Runway. Actually, "baffled" isn't really the right term. "Disgusted," maybe. "Horrified", even. He doesn't understand why I want to watch stupid people get paid to act like assholes. To which I squeal, "But it's entertaining!" Surprisingly, he has not been swayed by this argument. So here are some more:

1. Since the people on reality television seem less real than those on good scripted shows (Parenthood, anyone?), it's a lot less upsetting when something bad happens to them.

2. I never lose the plot when one of the kids distracts me.

3. It lets me feel superior about my parenting skills, which pretty much never happens in real life.

4. It lets me feel superior about my maturity level, which also never happens in real life.

5. The Soup is much funnier if you have seen what Joel McHale is making fun of. (Except The Bachelor. There is no excuse for watching The Bachelor.)

6. So is Kathy Griffin.

7. Remember how much fun dive bars are? Especially when you've been going to wine bars filled with hipsters and finance guys? Reality television has the same appeal.

8. I grew up watching soap operas. I'm conditioned to like this kind of crap.

9. It's cheaper than shopping.

10. It's not as emotionally draining as being a football fan.