I've always thought that people who claimed to be possessed had mental and/or physical problems that explained their behavior. Like that little girl in The Exorcist was probably molested by the priest or something.* So the fact that I'm sure I'm being possessed by some earth mother from the '60's means that I'm in the midst of a nervous breakdown and/or I really do have a brain tumor.**
The first time I was allowed to stay home by myself and make my own dinner, I "made" Pringles and Chips Ahoy. And 20 years later the first dinner I "made" in the first house I bought? Also Pringles and Chips Ahoy. Not only do I not cook, I don't even like meals. Except for breakfast. I could eat breakfast food all day long. I would probably weigh 10 more pounds if I knew how to cook bacon properly.
So yeah, about the possession. Recently I've begun to think that all this crap I eat and even the restricted crap I let my children eat (whole grain Goldfish! Wendy's chicken nuggets, not McDonald's!) is quite possibly truly bad for us. I mean, I've always known vegetables were healthier, but I figured kids with my genes wouldn't fall for the whole broccoli is a treat thing. Especially since, even as babies, they were chucking the broccoli across the room. But I didn't think I was feeding them anything that would actually hurt them. And then I heard about arsenic in apple juice. And suddenly I was thinking the Real Food movement might have a point.
It was when I downloaded one of Michael Pollan's books instead of a new mystery that I started to get concerned. And I got downright scared today when I told Hugmonkey I wouldn't buy him grapes because they weren't organic. Also, I may have ordered "The ABCs of Yoga for Kids" on Lovebug's last Scholastic book order.
Clearly, I've been possessed by an earth mother.
*I've never actually seen The Exorcist. But I know it involves possession and a priest.
**Don't you always think "brain tumor" whenever you get a headache? No?
1 comment:
One of uuuussss.... one of uuuuusssss. Muaahahahahah!
Next thing you know, you'll be eating liver, making bone broth, and frying things in beef tallow! (olive oil oxidizes too quickly, and other vegetable oils are NOT natural and are oxidized/rancid when you buy them, unless they're cold pressed- still can't cook with them because cooking veg oils forms trans fats).
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