So, as all 10 of you reading this probably already know, I used to be a teacher. In the - how to say this in the least offensive way? - kind of neighborhoods where you can buy crack more easily than you can buy fresh vegetables. As a teacher, I'm the veteran of many Back-to-School nights. As a parent, not so much. So I'm still entertained by comparing the Back-to-School nights at my old school versus the ones at my kids' school, which is in the kind of neighborhood where it's easier to buy organic vegetables than crack. Or meth. Or Twinkies.
Because I occasionally miss teaching, I tried to make a comparison chart, but html hates me. So instead I made lists:
My Kids' School
1. Teacher Attire: Tastefully sexy dresses, high heels.
2. Crowd: Large, attentive, more fake smiles than a dental convention.
3. Decorations: Student work taped to walls.
4. In class presentations: On the Smartboard, aided by videos and/or photos of the kids. Describing a typical day in the classroom and a detailed description of the curriculum. Parents sit on student chairs.
5. Sign-Ups: Parent-teacher conferences in 6 weeks. Full.
6. General presentations: Principal, PTO vice-president, Educational Foundation president, arts association president, after-school program director. Snacks.
7. Handouts: Student work, large homework projects due the following month.
8. What I did after: chatted with other parents, summarized the evening for husband.
My Old School:
1. Teacher Attire: Conservative dresses to prevent leering, flat shoes for speed in the parking lot.
2. Crowd: Small, not overtly hostile.
3. Decorations: Student work stapled carefully to butcher paper that has color-coordinated borders.
4. In class presentations: Detailed description of class rules, summary of curriculum. Parents sit on folding chairs because teachers were told it was insulting to expect adults to sit on student chairs.
5. Sign-Ups: For volunteering in the classroom. Empty.
6. General presentations: Principal and PTO president talked briefly. Except for the years when there was no PTO.
7. Handouts: Class rule review and description of homework expectations.
8. What I did after: Got drunk with my co-workers.
4 comments:
Shoot, the formatting came out funny - tables are so troublesome - I think I get the gist of it though!
I tried to fix it but finally had to admit my ineptitude and do it over. Thanks for trying to read it anyway!
I love it! The teacher attire at the "old school" was perfectly described! :) Don't you wish the two worlds could sometimes collide?
Much better, glad I remembered to come back and look! I think our elementary school is kind of a mix of both, and the junior high is...just weird.
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