Better Than Hoarders

So I watched one of the best reality shows ever last night. For those of you who think "reality show" and "best" don't belong in the same sentence (cough Hot Guy cough cough), you can stop reading now.

Picture a bunch of extremely eccentric New Orleans residents throwing weddings for drunk and/or crazy people and you have Big Easy Brides. This older couple has a wedding chapel on Bourbon Street and they employ a bunch of whack jobs to help with the weddings. You know how most people on reality television have been watching episodes of the Kardashians for pointers? And they're all surgically enhanced and completely fake?*

I'm pretty sure Marie, the wedding planner on Big Easy Brides, could beat the shit out of all the Kardashians. Even Khloe.

She gets all threatened when they hire a new photographer without consulting her and brings new meaning to the words "hostile work environment." I'm a little afraid for the photographer, to be honest. Marie is scary.  

So the episode has 3 weddings - well, 2 complete weddings and 1 clusterfuck. The first - and the best** - was the pub crawl wedding. Sure, the couple got so hammered that the bride puked on some dude's shoes. And sure, that dude got so pissy about it that the groom started a fight with him. But still. Can you just picture the invitations for a pub crawl wedding? 

The clusterfuck involved a drunk couple showing up at the chapel to get married. When our buddy Marie tries to take the groom off to get prepped, the bride gets all paranoid. Like Marie's going to be all stealing her man DURING THE WEDDING. They distract the bride with wedding talk and all is fine until she sees that her man has his shirt off in front of Marie (and 12 other people). I will say this: Dude is totally ripped. Anyway, the bride flips out and charges, the security guy*** gets too pushy and there's almost a fight. Stuff gets broken, anyway. 

The other wedding is a trailer park themed wedding. You can see the devilish glee in Marie's eyes when she talks about planning this wedding. What makes it slightly less cool is that it happens at the actual trailer park where the bride and groom live. But Marie makes it special with crushed beer can and wading pool decorations, lawn chairs and a keg in the trunk of a car. Because the landlord showed up right before the ceremony to say no drinking at the wedding. So half the guests left to go to the bar, I'm not kidding. Those that remained were able to smoke during the ceremony, though. 

I would watch this show even if it was scripted, that's how awesome it is. It's like if Diane Arbus created a reality show. 

*Except on Hoarders. I love you, Hoarders.

**This is how I want to renew my vows, btw. A pub crawl down Bourbon Street.

***All through the show I couldn't imagine why a chapel would need a security guy. Clearly I don't know much about wedding chapels.