1. You are making enough milk. Yes, you are. It may take your milk a couple of days to come in. NURSE ANYWAY. The colostrum is good for the baby and then your body WILL MAKE ENOUGH MILK. Especially if you exclusively nurse those first weeks. Do not freak out if you're only getting a few ounces pumping, a nursing baby is way better at getting milk out of you than a pump.
2. Your lactation consultant may be an idiot. She (or he? Are there men who do this job?) may be condescending, or tell you to pump, or throw nipple shields at you. S/he may even tell you that you're doing it wrong (This happened to me. Fortunately, it was when I had Lovebug so I KNEW he was latched and all was well, I just had a funky hold. Because the regular holds hurt when you have c-section stitches.) If the lactation consultant makes you feel like you can't do it, then you've got an idiot on your hands. Get advice from other moms, Kellymom.com or your breastfeeding book instead.
3. Avoid lactation consultants, if you can. My friend M. swears this is why breastfeeding has been a piece of cake with her second baby but was weeks of torture with her first. The weekend she had her second, the lactation consultant didn't show up for days. So by the time the consultant showed up, M. and adorable baby C. already had it figured out.
4. Find a truly supportive pediatrician. When I interviewed pediatricians while preggers with Ironflower, they SAID they were supportive of breastfeeding, so I didn't question them further. Ask what percentage of their patients breastfeed exclusively and for how long, ask what s/he will do when your newborn loses weight in the hospital, ask when s/he does recommend formula. As soon as 8 lbs, 10 oz Ironflower lost weight in the hospital, my pediatrician went from being breastfeeding supportive to suggesting formula right away to practically telling me to give up.
5. Your baby is going to lose weight in the hospital. They all do. It usually takes time for your milk to come in, plus they just always seem to. Your breastfeeding book should tell you why. If baby loses more than a pound, however, you might have to try formula. If baby is still having trouble latching, use a cup for the formula. Sure, it's messy that way. But bottles are too easy for those who have trouble latching, trust me. Wait until you've got the latch going, then you can try bottles.
6. I can't exactly explain what a proper latch feels like. It won't hurt, that's for sure. It sort of feels like a gentle tug on the veins in your boobs, not like that sleazy guy you met at that party when you were 16.
7. Relax. Kick everyone out of the room if you have to. Don't fuss with nursing covers and nursing bras at first, just wear a robe and tell people to look/go away. You don't want to worry about messing with the cover or those tricky nursing bras (seriously, I never managed to close one of those things one handed like you're supposed to be able to do) until you feeling comfortable actually doing it.
8. Drink a glass of wine. I've actually heard this from 3 different doctors. It really helps with the relaxing and I think it may have helped me regulate my hormones. But stick to just one glass. Presuming you've been a good girl during your pregnancy, this will be enough to get you buzzed anyway.
9. After a month or two, you will be able to breastfeed anywhere. And, you won't have to worry about bringing bottles, formula and water with you everywhere you go. Here I am, breastfeeding Lovebug on a glacier in Alaska:
10. Your baby is probably going to be skinnier than other babies. Breastfed babies tend to be skinnier than formula fed babies and not all pediatricians use the growth charts for breastfed babies So don't freak out and don't let your pediatrician freak your out.
11. Oh yeah, buy a breastfeeding book. I think I had The Complete Book of Breastfeeding, 4th edition: The Classic Guide
and I found it helpful. Although, the truth is that Hot Guy is the one who remembered to bring it to the hospital when I had Ironflower and he's the one who used its wisdom to help her learn to latch. 12. If you and/or your partner are all worried about breastfeeding interfering with your sex life, get over it. Your sex life is getting wrecked by the hormones and the newborn and the lack of sleep and full boobs aren't going to make much difference.
13. Remember that I'm not a nurse, doctor, midwife or doula. Although I totally think I could be a lactation consultant. But, uh, I'm not one, technically. So take this advice with a grain of salt.
14. Welcome to the world, baby Colin! And thank your mommy for suggesting this post.
8 comments:
I could not agree more. Everyone has to do what's best for them and what someone else's baby eats is no one else's business.
I am glad I breastfed, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and while I was doing it, I didn't always love it. But now, I miss it and I'm sad I'll never do it again.
Breastfeeding on a glacier? Now that's what I call dedication! :-)
I've still not managed to get pregnant, but I'm so referring back to this post when/if I do!
Great advice! I agree with you--relaxing as much as you can and having doctors, family, and friends who will do the same is key. Nature is messy sometimes! It definitely is worth giving it your best effort.
Kristina - I know what you mean about missing it sometimes. I was able to remember it fondly while writing the post. But I also remember being so relieved when I was done.
Wordvixen - It was that or listen to him scream. :) Sending fertile thoughts your way. .. . .
Tammy - I'll never forget when my uncle, of all people (though he his a doctor), told me to relax and have a class of wine. Best advice I got!
one of the best things about breastfeeding is it's CHEAP (formula is def not)... and it's good for your body's recovery... not to mention the emotional bonding... I loved it and look forward to #2 coming along in the next few weeks... oh - and you don't have any extra washing up to do : )
I hate that people can make you feel bad when you stop. I simply wasn't producing. My doctors had me on all kinds of meds to up productionand it ended up being torture. I wish I had tried a little bit longer but 4 months of non-stop feeding and brestmilk supplements for 2 more onths were good enough for me.
I breastfed Julia for 3 years, Lucy for 3 years and I hope I can do the same for Phoebe. I have to agree with everything you said here. I think the best thing you can equip yourself with is the will and desire to do it. If I hadn't been all gung-ho about it when Julia was born, it would have been so easy to give up. I had doctors and nurses pushing formula so hard you'd think they were getting paid to do that rather than provide healthcare. And I was surprised at the number of people who acted almost offended by it. But, I was determined to do it and Dave was very supportive.
I get that breastfeeding doesn't work out for everyone. And when I talk about my experience it's not with the intention to make anyone feel guilty if they didn't do it. Obviously, I think it's best for my kids, but the are other things I believe would be best for my kids that I'm not reasonably able to do, so I get it. I am just damn proud that I've been able to breastfeed my girls. It's a huge commitment and a real challenge at times. But so worth it.
Love your position on the whole advocacy thing. Really is up to the individuals experience. I had to go on a business trip while nursing my 6 month old and by then I was brave enough to bring along my pump, storage bags, cooler and freezer packs. Sent them home through the entire week. Made the eyes roll of many :).
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