I'd been planning this post in my head for weeks. It was going to be about I don't feel 40, how much cooler past milestone birthdays were and you know, how I'm old now. Last weekend, though, my Dad pointed out that 40 was much better than the alternative. My Dad, who has been stuck sharing this birthday with me for the last 40 years (Happy birthday, Dad!), did not say anything directly about how I'm not old compared to him, or that getting older is much better than death. He just tossed off his point casually and let me think about it.
He's not really a tell you what to do kind of Dad. He never told me to start a journal, just gave me a beautiful embossed notebook for my 16th birthday. He mentioned how much he loved Catcher in the Rye and gave me a copy, but he didn't tell me I had to read it. So of course I did read and love it. He didn't even tell me to like Bruce Springsteen (RIP, Clarence Clemons), he just made sure that was the first concert I went to (Born in the USA, 1985, Giants Stadium = Awesome). He never told me what I should think about current events, never forced me to read the paper or watch the news. He asked me what I thought, though, and it really bugged me when I had no idea what he was talking about. That still happens, though now it's more likely to be about bands I've never heard of, not current events.
So when he mentioned the alternative to 40, I nodded without thinking about it. I put it out of my mind completely. Instead I focused on all the things that sucked about being 40 and how I could write a funny post about them. Then I was talking to Hot Guy last night, and my misspent youth story involved a bartender at bar we used to go to, who died a few years ago. Well before he turned 40. And that lead me to thoughts of high school classmates who also didn't make it to 40. And I remembered my Dad's comment and realized that I was being a total asshole. 40 IS really better than the alternative.
And I'm really lucky that my Dad is here to point it out.
I love you, Dad. Happy birthday.
12 comments:
So true. 41 isn't bad either. And considering the subject of the post, it's even more amazing to have your dad around to remind you. Great reminder post.
Happy Milestone Birthday Jen! Here's to awesome dads and perspective :) Glad you are here!
Priceless - Happy birthday to you both! Turns out sharing a birthday with someone you love ain't so bad either.
Happy Birthday Triple Z! My 40's have been great overall. The only sad part about turning 40 for me was that it was the first birthday for me after my father passed away. Yes, you are lucky to have your dad and to share the day. I hope it is a great one!
My life hasn't been in vain. : ) Thank you!
Many happy returns. I hope you more than double that number with even more birthdays to come!
Forty is great, I have to say, I feel like I'm finally a grownup! And you've pointed out one of the best things about "maturing" (the term I prefer to "getting old"): having a real, adult friendship with your parent(s)...enjoy!
Kristin - Good to know! And thank you.
Lisa B - Thanks!
Ave - You would know. :)
Jersey Girl - Thank you1
Dad - Definitely not. You're welcome.
Maura - Thanks - me too!
Helena - I am stealing your term!
happy birthday to you! (and your dad too). you sound like you have a great dad. wish I could have been the kind of mom to better encourage/spur my kids on...am waiting now for the day when we can have an adult friendship! my grandpa says the same thing as your dad, though I am not sure I really buy it! I think being in Heaven has GOT to be better than all this....!
When I turned 30 (a few years ago) I had so many people wondering if I was upset about it. I couldn't understand their question. I had/have a wonderful husband, sweet little girl and a group of friends and close family that i can count on for anything. Everything else is a bonus! Enjoy being 40, I will be enjoying it myself soon enough!
Happy Birthday! :-)
Happy Belated birthday!
Post a Comment