I'd been planning this post in my head for weeks. It was going to be about I don't feel 40, how much cooler past milestone birthdays were and you know, how I'm old now. Last weekend, though, my Dad pointed out that 40 was much better than the alternative. My Dad, who has been stuck sharing this birthday with me for the last 40 years (Happy birthday, Dad!), did not say anything directly about how I'm not old compared to him, or that getting older is much better than death. He just tossed off his point casually and let me think about it.
He's not really a tell you what to do kind of Dad. He never told me to start a journal, just gave me a beautiful embossed notebook for my 16th birthday. He mentioned how much he loved Catcher in the Rye and gave me a copy, but he didn't tell me I had to read it. So of course I did read and love it. He didn't even tell me to like Bruce Springsteen (RIP, Clarence Clemons), he just made sure that was the first concert I went to (Born in the USA, 1985, Giants Stadium = Awesome). He never told me what I should think about current events, never forced me to read the paper or watch the news. He asked me what I thought, though, and it really bugged me when I had no idea what he was talking about. That still happens, though now it's more likely to be about bands I've never heard of, not current events.
So when he mentioned the alternative to 40, I nodded without thinking about it. I put it out of my mind completely. Instead I focused on all the things that sucked about being 40 and how I could write a funny post about them. Then I was talking to Hot Guy last night, and my misspent youth story involved a bartender at bar we used to go to, who died a few years ago. Well before he turned 40. And that lead me to thoughts of high school classmates who also didn't make it to 40. And I remembered my Dad's comment and realized that I was being a total asshole. 40 IS really better than the alternative.
And I'm really lucky that my Dad is here to point it out.
I love you, Dad. Happy birthday.
