3/29/2011

Signs of the Impending Apocalypse

1. Now even Target is selling padded bras for little girls. It was bad enough for Abercrombie and Fitch to do it, but what else can you expect from them? But for Target to have padded bras on one side and my daughter's Tinkerbell underwear on the other side of the rack in the Girls' section is just WRONG. And if you buy a daughter under 15 a padded bra? You have issues.

2. Michele Bachmann. Proving that ignorance is not bliss.

3. Colin Farrell speaking at Elizabeth Taylor's funeral (the things you learn when you watch the E! ticker). How on earth did they become such good friends?

4. Glenn Beck. Obviously he is the devil.

5. Kim Kardashian's single. I don't hate the Kardashians for being famous for making sex tapes and reality shows, but can't they just stick with what they know? It's a little late for them to convince us that they have any talent.

6. TLC, the channel. It used to be called The Learning Channel. Now all you learn is how to run a bakery in Hoboken, have gazillions of children and/or have lots of wives. Just because I watch the shows doesn't mean I respect them. (see also: entire Real Housewives franchise). My TV viewing habits are on a par with a frat boy on spring break: I'll watch anything, even if I won't admit it to my friends later.

7. The woman suing the New York preschool because she's afraid her daughter won't get into the Ivy League. It is so not going to be the preschool's fault when that little girl doesn't get into an Ivy League college, it's going to be the mother's fault for driving the poor kid into a mental institution before she can even take her SATs for the first time.

8. Justin Bieber. If Glenn Beck isn't the devil, then it has to be the Biebs. Who else would steal a hairstyle from lesbians?

What signs have I missed?

8 comments:

cuz greg said...

I am in shock. Well done.

Lisa said...

All I can say is I'm really, really sorry about Michele Bachmann. We have foisted her on the nation and, as a Minnesotan, I can only offer my humblest apologies.

Jaime said...

They also have bikini underwear for 4 years olds. I accidentily bought some for my daughter and hubby put them on her. She is not happy with them at all!

triplezmom said...

Thank you. I think.

triplezmom said...

I appreciate that. I always thought Minnesota was better than this.

triplezmom said...

Who are the people who thought this was a good idea? Are they registered sex
offenders?

themomsmith said...

Love the list. Can we add two more? 1) Snooki getting more money to speak at an event than Nobel and Pulitzer prize winning author Toni Morrison. 2) Teen girl asking Yahoo Answers (who uses that?) if she should try to be on My Super Sweet 16 or 16 and Pregnant (because she IS sexually active and it could lead to a spot on Teen Mom). The Apocalypse, it is a coming.

triplezmom said...

Love those ideas. I think anyone on Yahoo Answers is kind of an idiot - and
an advertisement for how dumb we've gotten. Which brings me to Snooki. .
.horrifying. I would talk to Rutgers students about stupid things I've done
while drunk for half that amount!