I Want a Hall Pass

Yes, I saw the poorly reviewed Hall Pass this weekend. I thought it was kind of cute, actually, even if Owen Wilson annoys me. I just want to shake him and say, "You're not hot enough to be that arrogant. Your brother's not like that and he's MUCH cuter." We laughed. Although I don't think it would be funny if you've never been married with kids.

Anyway, in the movie the wives, for a lot of senseless reasons that show what they all really need is honesty and possibly counseling, give their husbands a week off from marriage. A hall pass, a term they get from their psychiatrist friend played by Joy Behar. Is that woman everywhere now? Anyway, this is so the husbands can sleep around and get it out of their systems.

That is NOT why I want a hall pass. If I'm every without Hot Guy, my sex life will consist of a selection of vibrators. And gay porn. The guys are much better looking in gay porn.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, so in the movie Jenna Fischer takes the 3 kids off to Cape Cod for a week so Owen can pathetically try to get his groove at Applebees. I don't even think 23 year olds get laid at Applebees. I too would like my spouse to take my children away for a week so that I could get drunk with my friends, sleep late and watch all of my trashy reality shows with no snarky commentary from Hot Guy. I might also get some work done.

When I suggested this to Hot Guy, he said that I would miss them after a few days. No kidding. And then I'd have a few more days to miss them without being confronted by the reality of the screaming and the poop jokes. It would be awesome. The hall pass would also mean that Hot Guy couldn't call me to find out the kids' schedule or where they left their coats. I would have to keep track of myself only.

And then, you know, I'd realize that of course I wanted to be married and didn't miss the dating world and loved my spouse completely. Oh wait, that's what happens in the movie. Obviously, because it's billed as a comedy. What I'd realize is that I deserve a week off every year because it would make me a much better mother and wife. Maybe they'd even come back to hyper-clean and organized house.