2/08/2011

Felony or Misdemeanor?

In almost 40 freaking years of being a snarky bitch, I had never seriously considered slashing anyone's tires before. Until today. At elementary school pick up.

I could give a long explanation about the layout of the parking lot and the driving lanes, but you'll just have to trust me. There are about 10 parking spots available, about 20 if you count spaces that a car can park in without blocking driving lanes. Now, in a school with no bus service (our town is very small, after all) and hardly any walkers, this is a problem. Half the kids exit at the front of the school, so I don't know what kind of clusterfuck that is, but in the back we've got 20 spots for approximately 100 students. Even if people pick up 3 kids each, we've still got a problem. And hardly anyone is picking up 3 kids at once. 

So, people park pretty much anywhere. Also? People pretty much all drive minivans and SUVs. I honestly do a double take when I see a sedan at pick up. So, you know, things get crowded. Add in the fact that a lot of people stand around and chat (which I do. . .when it's warm) and you have it staying crowded, too. Today things got so crowded that there was a traffic jam - basically I couldn't go forward because the cars in the lane were parked too close together. I couldn't back up because of all the people behind me. I was stuck until those bitches who get there half an hour early moved their big-ass cars. If you're going to show up early and park where you're really not supposed to, the least you could do is park right next to the curb, ya know?

And I wondered if they'd start parking more sensibly if their tires were slashed; if that would convey the right message of, "Hey! Cars have to go through here! Other people need to pick up their children as well! And some of them have to go places AFTER picking up their children!" But I'm afraid it might just convey that I have anger management issues. Also, tire slashing is probably more difficult than it looks on Lifetime movies about crazy women. I bet I couldn't do it quickly enough to not get caught. 

By the time I got to Ironflower's door, no one was in the classroom. I went inside to the office. She wasn't there. I went back to the classroom. No go. I was advised by one of her classmates that she'd gone "that way". I think I jogged around the school 3 times before she appeared in the office. Then we had to race to the YMCA for swimming and gymnastics and me actually getting my ass on the elliptical trainer. Though you know what I love best about the Y? They have lots of parking spaces. 

I really want to move somewhere that has school buses. Ones that will pick my kids up and drop them off, preferably less than a block from my house. What's school pick up like where you live? 


13 comments:

Leslie said...

We live about 3 miles from our school. Julia could ride the bus, but it would pick her up at 7 a.m. for an 8:30 a.m. school start. So, I drive her.

carrie said...

Since the weather has gotten insanely cold here the pick-up at my school (the one I teach at, not the one my kids attend) has been insane. We have NINE busses that start arriving at 3:50 for the 4:00 dismissal. We are also down to two lanes for the cars and busses to share. Traffic starts to back up at 3:55. By 4:10, when we release our car riders, the traffic is backed up out of the parking lot and down the street two or three blocks in each direction. When I left today at 4:30 there were still 20+ kids in the lobby waiting and 6 cars in the pick-up lanes waiting for them to come out.

Anonymous said...

So I probably shouldn't tell you that we live 4/10 of a mile from the school, but have bus service. AND the school bus picks Gabi up at our driveway. Yeah, I'll just keep that to myself...
Denise

Lisa R. said...

School pickup is funny - no parking shortage really (you just get punished for getting there late by having to walk further) but interesting element is that the same people stand in the same places every day like it's been choreographed.

cran said...

The drop off is worse than the pickup. There is a loop where you can drop 'em and go but there are ALWAYS at least 2 or 3 cars that hold things up. The kid will sit in the car to chat for an extra minute or get out, close the door, and talk through the window. This is MIDDLE SCHOOL! What is the problem?

Triplezmom said...

@Leslie - 7am for 8:30? Ugh, I'd drive her too. But I don't mind drop off so much.

@Carrie - Yikes! Although, honestly, I'd rather sit in my car and wait my turn than park and search.

@Denise - any houses for sale in your neighborhood?

@Lisa - I think part of the problem yesterday is that I didn't stay in my way far away/so impossible to exit usual spot.

@Cran - Wow, pretty sure I ran from the car in middle school. Our kindergarteners run right into the building. Weird!

Jen Green said...

Awesome story, and I completely sympathize, except I think cars with slashed tires would have a more difficult time getting out of your way... Just a thought :P Good luck to you though, it sounds really frustrating, especially when you've got lessons and everything right after school.

Julie said...

The school made a big BIG deal out of telling parents "keep the line moving." Multiple times, in multiple formats, in multiple places. Essentially: "If you have to get out of the car, if your kid can't buckle himself in, park in a parking space so the line doesn't stop moving." Mine usually rides the bus, but the two times I had to pick him up, guess what? Giant parking lot in the driving lanes. The second time, I was asked to move my car -- even though I was sitting there, car in gear, patiently waiting for parked parents to move so there would be room to pull around -- because the woman in the giant SUV in front of me was in hard labor. And blocking the road, so that my sedan didn't have room to pull around. (Yes, she really was in labor. She was pulling herself up on the steering wheel so hard I'm pretty sure there are still indentations in it...)(I have one kid, so never understood the point of driving an SUV. I know, stay on topic...)

It's amazing how many parents don't think the rules apply to them. Labor Mommy had been sitting there for well over 15 minutes. (She was in the car line several vehicles ahead when I got there.) You'd think that 15 minutes have been enough time, even between contractions, to move and park the truck, retrieve the kids, and figure out what to do about getting to the hospital or wherever. If the contractions were that bad, someone else should have been driving.

Sorry -- didn't mean to hijack the comments. But your post really hit a nervey nerve. Arg!

KittyCat said...

Sounds like a cluster and would totally piss me off.
My kids elementary and jr and HS all have good plans in place for drop off and pickup. thank goodness. cause when Im pissed I can be one relaly mean bitch.

just sayin

Triplezmom said...

@Jen Green - I know slashing tires wouldn't work on the first day. . .but maybe they wouldn't bring their cars back?

@Julie That is crazy on so many levels. I can't imagine not having a back-up plan so that I wouldn't be at pick up while I was in labor!

@KittyCat Maybe I should bring you with me next time.

silken said...

all I know about school pick up is at the high school, which only has one road in and out to access it!! extremely poor planning, especially in case of an emergency. (there is a middle school at the corner too) traffic is backed up on the main road through town because of this poor plan. solutions? they have put in more stop lights and a cop holds the lights to let all the busses out first! it's INSANE!

tripleZmom said...

@Jen Green - I know slashing tires wouldn't work on the first day. . .but maybe they wouldn't bring their cars back?

@Julie That is crazy on so many levels. I can't imagine not having a back-up plan so that I wouldn't be at pick up while I was in labor!

@KittyCat Maybe I should bring you with me next time.

KittyCat said...

Sounds like a cluster and would totally piss me off.
My kids elementary and jr and HS all have good plans in place for drop off and pickup. thank goodness. cause when Im pissed I can be one relaly mean bitch.

just sayin