We don't like to talk about it, unless we're douchebags who troll well-known parenting blogs just to hurl insults.
But we all do it.
Even though most of us aren't douchebags.
We've all had the thought, "At least my kid doesn't do THAT." That, of course, could be anything from nose picking to eating fast food to punching siblings. Those of us with a modicum of self-awareness and humility don't say these things out loud. We know that our kids do embarrassing things too. But just not THAT. For which we are grateful.
Until - possibly thanks to all of our smug little thoughts - our kid DOES do THAT. Like, I never used to understand toilet locks. My toddlers weren't interested in the toilet and would never think of playing in it. Then I had Hugmonkey, who has only recently forgotten about the joy of throwing toys into the toilet. Or splashing in it.
And you would think, having learned that the crazy/annoying stuff kids do has less to do with parenting skill and more to do with personality and opportunity, that I would have stopped having smug little thoughts. But you would be wrong. Even after the toilet thing, I had "My kids have never mess around with scissors" and "My kids don't stick things up their noses".
Ironflower decided to cut her hair Sunday morning. It was in a ponytail and she cut some section behind her ear. I didn't notice until I was brushing her hair out, intending to redo the ponytail. There was a huge knot, which made me ask if Hugmonkey had grabbed her hair (visions of peanut butter clumps dancing in my head). Suddenly the knot came out. . .into my hand. I may have freaked out a bit until I realized it had been cut. Not that she admitted it for quite awhile.
Though she did admit to the time she got a pretzel stuck up her nose at her Grammy's house, "And Grammy had to get it out with a tweezer!". She shared this while I removed a Lego from Hugmonkey's nose. At least I didn't have to resort to tweezers.
But still.
I'm really going to try harder to be less smug. So even though Lovebug is not mentioned in any of these disillusionment stories, I am not going to brag about how at least I have one kid who doesn't do THAT. No, I am definitely not going to feel the least big smug.
Especially since he's the one who removed his dirty diaper once and. . .well, let's just say I had to scrub the walls after that nap session.
What are or have been your smug little parenting thoughts? Have you had to get over them?
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12 comments:
Ha ha ha! Too true. My 4 mth baby wakes 3-5 times a night, every night, way more than any other baby in my mothers grouo. But she does fall asleep easily anywhere, in anything, with the minimum of fuss. So while everyone else's baby sleeps through, or almost sleeps through, they seem to have to spend a fair bit of time fighting them to sleep - and I think, well at least mine doesn't do that!
The only thing my kids have not done is stick something up their nose. That is seriously the only thing. One or more of them has played in the toilet, cut their hair, misbehaved in public to the point where I had to leave, hit, punched, name called, spit, cried uncontrollably, gotten into my makeup...whatever. You name it, they have done it. Now, when I hear an embarrassing kid story, I just smile and nod.
Im a realist. My kids make mistakes. Just like anyone else.
They are good kids, and they are normal.
Nothing "special", well they are special to me. : )
BUt they are just like anyone else. I have never been one of those moms who claims my kid is perfect.
My daughter never was that kid that would put everything in her mouth. And as I was expounding on how great it was not to have to worry about that particular issue, she puts a small plastic puppy, literally the size of my thumb nail into her mouth. Thanks Annabelle:)
I never thought my kid would blame someone else for what he'd done. Until he told one whale of a tale about someone in his class cutting up his shirt. After much discussion, it came out that he had done it and was afraid to admit it. We hauled his butt back to the school, made him apologize to the kid in front of his teacher and principal. Luckily he was only in 1st grade at the time and since he had to pay the piper up front and center, his behavior changed for the better.
But it was embarassing and made me rethink the whole parenting gig.
Today. It happened today! My kids misbehaved so badly at Target that an employee interfered!! And they had a right to!! I.died. How many times did I see this happening and think, "my children will *never* be that out of control"?? Today!! I don't know what it was. They just kept saying, "We're so excited!!" about what??? Also, evidently, while pregnant, my nieces were misbehaving and I said, in front of their parents, "My kids will never do that. I'll tell them to stop and they will." WTF? And they didn't throat punch me? I stand that I was being sarcastic. Or hormonal. Or sleeping. Because, REALLY??
Anyway. Also, thankyou so much for stopping by my blog AND following!! I was beyond excited to see you!
This isn't really misbehavior, but until my daughter was 3.5 I used to be (silently) smug that her favorite color was yellow because I'm not fond of pink and I'm even less fond of how compulsory pink seems to be in little girls' clothes, toys, etc. I would think why does everything to do with little girls have to be pink and then I'd think how original my daughter was in liking yellow. We're been in the pink phase for a year now with no end in sight.
livingdarwin - Yeah, that's totally going to come back to bite you! Though encourage the sleep anywhere for as long as possible, it makes life so much easier.
LunaNik - You are amazing. Seriously.
Kittycat - That is a very healthy attitude. I'm trying to pretend I have it too.
Jaime - That's hysterical. And a valuable lesson.
Catootes - That sounds like a rough - but good - lesson learned for all of you.
Kim - They didn't have to punch you, they knew you would learn this the hard way. And thank you for coming to my blog!
StephLove - I was the same way about princesses. And then bam, she became obsessed. There's obviously nothing we can do to prevent these girly things.
I learned pretty early on...every thing I said "my kid will never..." of course s/he did....I am still learning but I don't put anything past either of them at this point in time...
I learned pretty early on...every thing I said "my kid will never..." of course s/he did....I am still learning but I don't put anything past either of them at this point in time...
This isn't really misbehavior, but until my daughter was 3.5 I used to be (silently) smug that her favorite color was yellow because I'm not fond of pink and I'm even less fond of how compulsory pink seems to be in little girls' clothes, toys, etc. I would think why does everything to do with little girls have to be pink and then I'd think how original my daughter was in liking yellow. We're been in the pink phase for a year now with no end in sight.
I guess you will want to put a facebook icon to your website. I just bookmarked the blog, although I must make this by hand. Just my advice.
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