10/05/2010

I Like The Idea of Plural Marriage

I want a sister-wife.

I've always wanted a sister and how great would it be to divide the household chores with somebody? I mean, she could do all the cleaning and I could do all the shopping, for example. And while I don't want to go through pregnancy and c-section again, it would be fun to have another baby around. As long as my sister-wife had a lot of money, because we can't really afford another child. Yeah, I think it would be best if my sister-wife was independently wealthy. And funny. I couldn't live with someone who wasn't funny.

Like those women on the Sister-Wives reality show? They seem nice and I'm they're all much better about cleaning than I am. But they're all so earnest - I don't think any one of them has a sense of the absurd. Which is what you often find with people who cling to old-fashioned religious notions like plural marriage. So clearly I"m not going to find my future sister-wife in that community. Especially since my desire for plural marriage has nothing to do with religious conviction and everything to do with getting out of scrubbing the floor.  And having someone to watch "The Real Housewives of Wherever" with. And getting to be around a new baby without doing any of the tough stuff. And an infusion of cash.

I'm not sure how Hot Guy would feel about this. It's possible that I should have talked to Hot Guy about this before sharing it on the internet, but what man wouldn't want 2 wives? That's twice as much sex! Plus you get 2 anniversaries, 2 birthdays and 2 honey-do lists. And surely with 2 women complaining about leaving socks on the floor it will be easier to stop, right?

I know that I'll have to overcome my jealousy like those women on the show. But I'll have it easier since I'll be choosing my own sister-wife - it's not going to be Hot Guy coming home and telling me that he "fell in love with" (you ever notice how the hyper-religious all say that after like 2 dates? but it's so obviously lust and they're just afraid to admit it?) some new woman that I'll just have to get used to. Obviously I will choose someone that I like a lot and that Hot Guy finds slightly attractive. Emphasis on the "slightly". Also, he can't show her affection in front of me. In fact, it would be best if he only went near her when I wasn't in the mood. I think that would cure the whole jealousy thing. For me.

So, does anyone know a slightly attractive, expert cleaner, rich, single woman with a great sense of humor who could spend the rest of her life being second best without going all Lifetime Movie crazy and killing me?

Yeah, it's a good thing I like my 'single marriage'.

8 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

Maybe you should just turn lesbian. All the benefits of an extra wife with none of the husband jealousy issues.

soccermom said...

Yeah um I am a clean freak, but I am not up for sharing my man for sex.

I used to watch the big love series on HBO, just never understood how they would be ok with sharing their man.

Good luck though on your quest. : )

Lisa R. said...

I think the sister-wife thing could actually work as long as I had my own house. Sharing the husband, fine, but if somebody else wanted to impose her ideas about how the kitchen cabinets should be organized, it'd be war.

Jerseygirl89 said...

Travis, I tried that already. Plus, you know, I'm kinda attached to the husband.

Jerseygirl89 said...

Soccermom - It's a religious duty as they see it. I don't really get it either, which is why I'm obsessed with Big Love and this Sister Wives show.

Jerseygirl89 said...

Lisa - Oh wow, I didn't think of that. Yeah, my own house OR complete control of the one we share. I get annoyed when my husband tries to rearrange the cabinets so I can't imagine what I'd do to the sister-wife. Excellent point. Must add it to the pre-nup.

Robert Wilson said...

thanks for the post

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