Thirty-F**King Nine

Er, I kind of missed True Confession Tuesday this week. And then I forgot to blog yesterday. Do you think I can blame old age? I'll be 39 tomorrow.

Thirty-fucking-nine. I would much rather be forty. Forty is the start of something. Who knows what will happen in my forties? Look at most of the Desperate Housewives stars. But thirty-fucking-nine, that's an ending. Not only of my thirties,  but of my entire youth.

I read InStyle (yeah, I still read it even though my current version of style is to wear a shirt that doesn't have a stain) last week and there was not 1 trend that I hadn't already worn before.

I'm overly excited to go to Ikea today.

Instead of just keeping in touch with a few select people from high school, I am now friends with a ton of them on Facebook. And I enjoy hearing about their lives. Because I have forgotten how much they may have annoyed me 21 years ago.

When I stay up really late, it's because I'm reading.

People born when I graduated from high school can now drink legally. So, if I had gone in a different direction in high school, I could go out drinking with my kid.

When I diet for a week, I do not lose 5 pounds.

After 20+ years of dyeing my hair for fun, now I actually have to dye it. Because I'm too young to go gray, right?

The only thing I'm too young to do is join AARP.

My first class of first graders has graduated from high school. Actually, so has my second class. Crap.

The President is 10 years older than I am. Ten years! That's appropriate dating age. Unless you're 16.

I am now more comfortable wearing a bra than not wearing one.

I remember what life was like before the internet. Hell, I remember life what life was like before cordless phones.

I can't remember how to use all the features on my cell phone.

I can remember when Charlie Sheen and Tom Cruise were hot, though.

In short, I would prefer it if you didn't mention to anyone that I'm 39. I would like to be described as "40-1".

Thanks.

Also, if you would like me to have a happy birthday, you could sign up for my rss feed over there on the right hand side (uh, it's still there, right?). Or link to me. Or both. :) Hey, if you can't shamelessly ask for attention on your birthday, when can you ask?