A Suggestion for Mel Gibson

Oh, Mel Gibson.

I remember when I thought you were attractive. I remember your sense of humor during Lethal Weapon and the way your eyes seemed to twinkle. Those were the days.

You started taking yourself more seriously around Braveheart, which I did not exactly enjoy. But your creative happiness was important to me, so I forgave you for not making Bird on a Wire 2 instead.

I'll admit that I was put off by Passion of the Christ, but gave you the benefit of the doubt since you made like eleventy-billion dollars from it.

You first DUI rant disturbed me more. I couldn't ignore it. I broke things off with you. I merely shook my head when you dumped your wife of decades for a Russian musician and impregnated her almost immediately.

By that point, I already suspected that you were an asshole.

But these tapes. Wow. You have crossed the asshole line, skipped abusive and gone straight for complete whackjob. I think you must be crazy, because otherwise how did you not figure out that she would tape you saying all of those vile things? And, you know, how did you even come up with some of those things unless you were nuts?

But, other than stabs of pity for your many children and former wife, I didn't feel much when I heard the tapes. My feelings for you had long since died out.

What I don't understand are the people who are defending you. The women - the WOMEN - I heard on the radio yesterday, who were blaming your girlfriend for entrapping you. Who were saying that your drunken rants didn't mean anything. Who said they were still on your side.

Those women need therapy, Mel.

I've been drunk. I've had a drunken rant or two and I've certainly heard some. But you? You went so far beyond the normal parameters that it's obvious your unbothered supporters have heard some really bad stuff regularly in their lives. Some really ugly stuff. And they've blamed themselves for it.

Mel, this is the chance you've been waiting for. You still - even after you support your ex, your kids and your Russian - will have a shit-ton (that's a finance term, right?) of money. Pay for therapy for your supporters. Get them to see that you're a crazy person and that even pet rats deserve better treatment. Then they'll still support you, but it will be because you've helped them. And many of us who think you're a crazy douchebag will be impressed with your generosity and maybe not picket any more movies you make.

Especially if you do make Bird on a Wire 2.