Every time I hear a kid crying or screaming in public, I think, "Thank God that's not one of mine." Except, of course, when it is.
There was a time when I was absolutely mortified when one of my kids had a tantrum . . .or even cried. . .in public. Ironflower didn't have a lot of public tantrums, or even private ones, so when she did I always felt completely at a loss. Lovebug had more, but all that did was make me humiliated more often.
And along came ChunkyMonkey. ChunkyMonkey has had more public tantrums than I can count. Usually when I had no option but to deal with them, as he's much more likely to do it when I'm alone. And when the big kids are having fun somewhere.
I talk calmly to ChunkyMonkey. I say "No bite!" in a strict voice. I carry him facing away from me so he can't bite or scratch, sideways so he can't kick and go on about my business because I am no longer mortified.
Or humiliated.
Or even embarrassed.
When one of my kids starts screaming in public now (Lovebug has not completely given up the tantrums, he's more like a heroin addict weaning himself slowly with the methadone of whining), I find myself slightly annoyed. In fact, it's quite similar to my reaction when they whine. Or poke each other for no good reason. Or talk incessantly at the top of their lungs.
I wouldn't say I've gotten much better at dealing with tantrums (although, thanks to ChunkyMonkey, my ability to dodge head butts and kicks has gotten a lot better) in my 5 and a half years of motherhood. I certainly wouldn't say that my children have gotten mellower.
I would say that my attitude towards other people has changed, though. I no longer give a shit what they think. You want to glare at me as I carry my screaming 20 month old out of the 7-11 because I wouldn't let him carry my precious Big Gulp? Fine. You give him your Big Gulp then.
How do you feel when your kid throws a tantrum in public? Mortified? Humiliated? Embarrassed? Annoyed? Sad? And how do you handle it?
I might need some ideas if ChunkyMonkey gets any stronger.
5 comments:
I prefer to scoot away and act like I don't even know them. If my wife is around I might add, "Wow, I wish that lady would get a grip on her kids."
I would try that if I thought ChunkyMonkey wouldn't start attacking strangers.
The worst ever temper tantrum Annabelle had was at the National Archives in DC. We waited in line to see the Constitution so patiently for about an hour. By the time it was our turn to get in, Annabelle had had enough and was SCREAMING her head off. I didn't get to even see the stupid Declaration of Independence or anything! Now I need to go back but maybe without my sweet girl:)
Carrie - 7-11 is such a poor replacement for QT. I'm going to try the napkin idea, though.
Kris - Oh yeah, there's nothing like having a wild child to make your more sympathetic to other parents.
Jaime - Yikes! Of course, I get pretty grumpy after an hour too. But it sounds like you need your own trip.
good for you! I hate that I cared, and even at times still care, what others are thinking when staring at us in public (you know, teens have their own forms of acting out) but they have no idea of you, your child, your family values, what has transpired up to this point, etc, etc, etc. I try to be more considerate of other families in public when their kids are acting out. usually giving no attention to the situation which gives the kid no audience. sometimes just giving an encouraging word to the mom (at least I hope that is how it's taken!)
I like the napkin idea. prevention is always the best medicine!
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