I don't know whether to blame my very, very, very late '30's or my children, but something around here has turned what used to be pretty normal periods into weeks from HELL. Add in the fact that said weeks are unpredictable (in fact, this week started LATE and I was imagining myself as one of the few women whose bodies overcome tubal ligation. As in, pregnant again. As in, mother of 4. As in, no semblance of sanity left.) and you have a recipe for various disasters.
Like having to ask your 5 year old to go up and get you a tampon.
Because I have kept my daughter ignorant of such things, I had to describe what they looked like.
(Generally, we're pretty open around here - correct names for body parts, explaining that touching yourself is fine in private, daddies plant seeds in mommies to make babies - but periods are a lot of detail. My own mother was very, very open about hers and it freaked me out so much that I dreaded it for years. I even ignored my first one for a day or two. So I see no reason to depress Ironflower ahead of time with details of blood, bloating and bitching.)
So my description was clear enough, apparently, because she found me one easily. She brought it to the downstairs bathroom, where I had discovered my desperate need a few minutes earlier. But naturally she wanted to hang out, not hand over the tampon and get away.
"What's it for, anyway?" she asked. This is the problem with encouraging your children to ask questions and to always providing them with an over-abundance of information.
Naturally, ChunkMonkey came toddling in at that moment. And because I was busy trying to think of an explanation that would not freak her out while, um - let's say "covering my shame", shall we? - I was not prepared. And because I was not prepared, ChunkyMonkey proceeded to grab the tampon and throw it into the sink.
"Nice job, ChunkyMonkey, " I said sarcastically. Ironflower asked if the tampon was supposed to go in the sink. Ironflower still misses a lot of my sarcasm. For which I am grateful.
"Does it help with clogs?" she asked hopefully. We have a sink clogging issue at our house, possibly because everyone except ChunkyMonkey had SO MUCH FREAKING HAIR. Anyway, I pondered the clog question with a slight smirk.
In the end, I said that mommies' bodies had to get rid of stuff each month and that tampons helped. I waited for follow up questions (nervously), but there were none. "Will you make lunch when you're done?" she asked cheerfully.
I nodded and asked her to shut the door. The whole situation could have been avoided, of course, if I just kept a stash in the downstairs bathroom.
How do you handle those kinds of situations? Uh, you do have those kinds of situations, right? I'm not the only person whose had her 5 year old grab a tampon for her, am I?
14 comments:
Try a herb store .I have found a WONDERFUL all natural drop. Valerian drops. It really helps
Sorry I left that one on the wrong one lol .I meant for getting your little to sleep
haha - just the other day i caught ellie chewing on one of the emergency tampons i keep in her diaper bag (she's taken to emptying it out and playing with the toys i keep in the bottom). needless to say, the "mommy pocket" now remains zipped. (ellie's a little bit younger than ironflower, though.)
No problem, Jade! I will have to check those out too. Something's gotta work.
Fortunately she won't remember the experience! And the diaper bag has yet to stop fascinating any of my children.
I was in a public restroom with my daughter at a dance recital when I needed a tampon. Of course I didn't have one with me, so out to the deispenser I go. Annabelle so lovingly asks me in a loud voice if she can have a cheese stick too. All of the women burst out laughing. Oh the things that she thinks of:)
Cora thought they were candy for the longest time. Fortunately she knows what they look like because she shops with me and she "helps" me by re-stocking the bathroom drawers like she does with John's pull-ups. She also knows that they are NOT candy, but she doesn't know what they're for just that only women use them.
LOL. We have a similar situation going on here. My son and daughter are 10 and 9 and even though I try to be honest but not graphic with my daughter she just continues to ask the same question month after month leaving me to think that I should have kept her in the dark and let the school nurse handle it like my mother did.
Bottom line I told my kids that women's bodies prepare to have a baby every month and if your body is not going to make a baby then it has to expel all of the "stuff"...careful with this because then it leads into the whole "how does your body make a baby" question. I am brutally honest with my kids because I have no time for "nicey nice" but I also have a fund set aside for therapy for when they get older :)
Jaime - I love that. Cheese stick.
Carrie - I love how you've got her restocking with you!
Michelle - That sounds good, though. Definitely going to use the term "stuff"!
nice job, mom (no sarcasm!) we were always honest w/ our kids too. I think it's only right to them. but you know, like in your situation, they often seem to know how much they can handle…like she did not follow up w/ questions. as my daughter got a little older, I would sometimes preface an answer w/ are you sure you want to know right now? and she would often say "no!" but I do think it's healthy overall to be as honest as they are ready for. hang in there! and boy do I wish I had an answer for the weeklong anguish! lately I had been feeling as if I was 12 again (I was having not only the bad cramps,but the timing was off, and lots of accidents.) I did find a product that I have been trying the last four months. it is a menstrual cup. I don't know if you have ever checked into using one, but in some ways it is very helpful (takes some getting used to) and eliminates the need for tampons! and isn't "stuff" an official word?!
Silken - Thank you. And I've heard about the cup but I've never known anyone who used it. I should investigate.
LOL. We have a similar situation going on here. My son and daughter are 10 and 9 and even though I try to be honest but not graphic with my daughter she just continues to ask the same question month after month leaving me to think that I should have kept her in the dark and let the school nurse handle it like my mother did.
Bottom line I told my kids that women's bodies prepare to have a baby every month and if your body is not going to make a baby then it has to expel all of the "stuff"...careful with this because then it leads into the whole "how does your body make a baby" question. I am brutally honest with my kids because I have no time for "nicey nice" but I also have a fund set aside for therapy for when they get older :)
I was in a public restroom with my daughter at a dance recital when I needed a tampon. Of course I didn't have one with me, so out to the deispenser I go. Annabelle so lovingly asks me in a loud voice if she can have a cheese stick too. All of the women burst out laughing. Oh the things that she thinks of:)
Sorry I left that one on the wrong one lol .I meant for getting your little to sleep
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