Some days the world is so annoying that you just have to fantasize about things you wish were true. . .
1. That Jesse James was actually Sandra Bullock's beard and these are all disgruntled ex-girlfriends of hers coming out because she has finally found true love with Jodie Foster.
2. That when celebrities went to rehab to work on their "issues", "stress" and "anxiety", what they had to work at Wal-Mart for minimum wage while supporting 2 kids with ADD and no health insurance.
3. That all the Tea Party people were really just doing it for the cash supplied by Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and didn't believe any of the crap they were spouting.
4. That milk chocolate was just as good for you as dark chocolate.
5. That saying, "Oh please, for the love of the Goddess, shut up!" as the 1 year old screams and gets in my way every time I prepare a meal was taken as a loving comment and not, you know, an inappropriate outburst.
6. That I had my 31 year old, pre-child body. . . .forever.
7. That we only read about racism, sexism and homophobia in history books.
8. That houses were self-cleaning.
9. That instead of paying for language immersion and piano and dance and soccer and T-ball and gymnastics and swimming and art classes for 3 year olds, parents taught them empathy first.
10. That I didn't really see Tiger Woods' kindergarten teacher on the news yesterday.
11. That Dr. Jack Cassell failed the MCAT.
12. That sleeping with a famous person was not a more likely path to celebrity than writing a book of poetry or solving a conundrum in theoretical physics.
13. That my kids would never doubt how wonderful they are.
14. That Friday Night Lights was returning to network TV. And staying on forever.
15. That Jon and Kate Gosselin never did a reality show.
16. That kids had volume dials like stereos.
17. That Justin Bieber was going back to high school to focus on his education. Or his hairstyling skills.
18. That all the people I loved lived within a 100 mile radius.
19. That aging rockers retired gracefully instead of horrifying us at the Super Bowl.
20. That I had an iPad, even though that's got to be the stupidest product name on the planet after "Pussycat Dolls".
What do you wish was true?
7 comments:
I wish I could find the inter peace that I had before I had a spouse and kids
Jade - Good one. Me too.
I especially love #7 & #9... And in the Easter spirit, I wish that everyone felt included and apart of... that ideas of God and religion were not used to hurt and ostracize until becoming synonymous with intolerance and hatred. {sigh}
And to #6, I wish that I had appreciated my pre-baby body more. Although I REALLY wish that I would learn to love my post-baby body. So I wish that post-baby pooches were HOT or I could at least believe my husband when he says it :)
#9 defin.............great post
I wish all the people I loved lived within a 100 mile radius but unfortunately they are scattered across the country and the world and I miss them so much!
#15 ...for the love of Goddess.... how true!!!!
Elizabeth - Thank you!
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