Sex Toys, TV and Preschool

So today another preschool mom mentioned that I should blog about the red character on Yo Gabba Gabba because, (whispered) "He looks like a giant dildo."

He totally does, doesn't he?

I really love that when people think of children's TV characters looking like sex toys, they think of me. It shows that they get the real me, because I've hardly ever seen a children's show without having dirty thoughts.

Hell, I had questions about Bert and Ernie when I was a child myself. *

Anyway, I hadn't really made the Yo Gabba Gabba/dildo connection because I hate Yo Gabba Gabba and hardly ever let my kids watch it. But it reminded that I'm pretty sure everyone who creates children's television is drunk, high, hates their parents and/or has weird sexual fetishes. **

There's a dildo shaped character on Oswald too. And there are background dildo shapes all over Wow Wow Wubbzy. I wonder if Nick Jr. has an interest in a sex toy company?

I also have questions about Mr. Noodle from Sesame Street. I'm not sure what they are, but I know I have them. I would also like to talk to whoever  created Oobi, which is the one with the creepy talking hands (Hands. Not puppets, but decorated hands.) Then there's LazyTown. I think the relationship between Stephanie and Sportacus is weird. Plus, you know, almost all the other characters are puppets with plastic-faced masks that make me think of bank robbers and that creepy movie V is for Vendetta.

And what about all the shows that have virtually no parents? They don't even talk about Max and Ruby's parents. . .maybe "Grandma" is really their foster mom and Ruby mothers Max so much because she is actually his mom and that's why they're in foster care? And how many episodes of Dora and Diego show their parents? And what about Blue's Clues? If Steve and Joe are brothers, where are their parents?

I'd like to rest my case with this: listen to a kid's show when the characters are excited about something. Don't look, just listen and let your mind wander. If hearing those, "Oh oh ohs" without kid context doesn't make you think about sex, you need to get laid.

I totally should have gone into children's television programming, don't you think?

*Like that never occurred to you.
**Except for whoever made Olivia. I love that show. And I've never had a perverse thought while watching it.