This is a repost. Because I'm sick. And it's still true.
I cannot cut Ironflower's peanut butter and jelly sandwich properly. No matter what knife I use, no matter where I place the sandwich, no matter how thinly I spread the jelly, the jelly always leaks out by the time I'm done cutting it into totally unequal triangles. Often said triangles also have mangled edges.
When I ask my children what they want for dinner, they usually say McDonald's.
I have yelled the words "Shut up!" more than once. Once a day, I mean.
I am convinced that there is a bedtime routine that will cause my children to go bed peacefully and remain like that all night. I have tweaked the routine so many times I can't even remember what it was at this time last year.
I can't sew. Or cook more than a few things like hot dogs. Or iron. Or remember to actually bring my coupons to the store. And I loathe cleaning.
I don't know how to dress myself. The demands of this whole mom thing would seem to make yoga pants and t-shirts a sensible uniform, but I get depressed when that's all I ever wear. But I also get depressed when all of my cute clothes get stains on them.
I don't really like playing.
It takes me forever to strap and unstrap kids from the minivan. And sometimes they have to remind me to strap them in at all.
I am CLEARLY not keeping up with the rest of the class around here.
Was there a class I missed? Was modern parenthood the real topic of that abnormal psychology class I never went to? Do I simply need some remedial tutoring? WHY did I spend all those hours lugging around a weighted Cabbage Patch doll senior year of high school, if not to help my future parenting skills? Of course, I spent a lot more hours in Trigonometry . . . .which I have never, ever, ever used once since.
Or is the problem deeper? Do I have a processing disorder? A delay in mothering skills? And if so, where the heck is my Individual Education Plan? (Should that be Parenting Education Plan?) Why don't I have an aide? How come I never get pulled out of class to work in a quieter room with fewer distractions?
5 comments:
Hi there,
I just recently started reading your blog. I have to say that it is so nice to see that there are other parents out there like me! I just had one of those moments this morning, when I had to yell for my son to get his shoes on so we could get out the door, and I felt so guilty afterwards! What can we do? We are not all perfect! Sometimes it feels like the only time my kids actually listen to me is when I am screaming at them at the top of my lungs.
Kpop - I know. I've been trying this whole "not yelling" thing, but saying something 35 times doesn't seem much better for any of us!
Soccermom - You could be right. But probably none of us are as defective as we feel. PS I don't exactly know. But you can go to Gravatar.com and make one that will show up instead.
and what about remedial classes or at least tutorials for us parents of teens?????
Silken - you are so right! I'm sure I'll be needing those too.
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