Disclaimer: If reading about my sex life makes you uncomfortable (hi Mom and Dad!) you should probably stop reading now.
I am not a fan of the unexpected guest. Even before children, when my house was generally clean (except for the spare room, but that's what is was for,right?) I didn't enjoy people just dropping by unannounced. Now that my house is pretty much always a mess (and we do not have such a thing as a "spare" room) I kind of dread people stopping by.
Sometimes I do a quick declutter of the hallway before the pizza guy comes.
Sometimes I swear to my children's preschool teacher, who came by to drop off their Christmas stuff, that the pile of boxes is an anomaly (they were) and am relieved when she doesn't venture as far as the kitchen.
Sometimes I step out onto the front porch, even if it's 15 degrees out and I'm not wearing shoes.
And sometimes, like today, the unexpected visitor has to come all the way in. Today's visitor was the not unattractive guy changing the water meter, and (as the woman patiently explained on the phone when I called because I'm all paranoid cautious like that) he was stopping by because he'd finished another appointment early. I vaguely remembered that they are, in fact, changing all the water meters in the entire town. Since our water meter is in the basement, I had to let the dude in.
Now, our house is fairly clean at the moment. And even better, the fabulous Hot Guy just spent yesterday cleaning out the basement. The boys were dressed and not trying to kill each other and my shirt didn't even have too many stains on it.
There was absolutely no reason to be embarrassed.
Except that this morning I received my brand new vibrator. (other people read before bed, I take care of business. More relaxing.) My children believe that vibrators are actually back massagers (what? You can use them for that too), so I had casually placed it on the stairs. So I could remember to bring it to my bedroom.
Did I mention that you have to walk past the stairs to get to the basement?
Did I mention that my new toy is bright blue?
Did I mention that water meter guy smirked as we stood by the stairs while he gave me the receipt?
Yeah. A whole bunch of people are going to be laughing at this during happy hour tonight, I bet.
Anyone else have any embarrassing sex toy stories? I really want to read them in the comments or on your blogs. Because there are very few things funnier than an embarrassing sex toy story.
6 comments:
Catootes - That is hilarious.
Heres one way worse. My daughter is almost 20 and has recently moved back home. I was putting away some of her clothes and came across a vibrator in her dresser drawer. Now what does a 20 something need with a vibrator? Maybe I need to have the sex talk with her again?
Shoot! Stupid gravatar. Guess I'll just not check the responses from work. :-D
Mine happened at a job I'm still at, so I have to post anon- but you'll know who I am if you check the email addy. :-D
So, way back when, hubs and I would be the only people in the building for several hours. We used to take advantage of that fact.
One night we were just starting to pull ourselves together, ahem, and we're on the faaaaar side of the building. Next thing we hear the door buzzer. We finish pulling ourselves together and I go flying back to my workspace. Hubs calmly walks over to answer the door just as the door opens. It's one of the other managers. Thank goodness he was too lazy to just unlock the door in the first place! *lol*
OK, so not one of those embarrassing stories, but certainly a narrow escape!
HAAHAA.... that's funny. PS. I hate the pop in visitor as well, so i was sitting here reading & nodding my head while reading.
Krista - Thanks - and thanks for coming by!
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