Maybe My TV Viewing Should Be Restricted

Today I am ticked off at Kelly Ripa. I don't want to pick on a fellow girl from Jersey (oh yeah, don't let the blonde perkiness fool you, she's from Jersey - so don't fuck with her), but those appliance commercials she does make me want to find Hot Guy's old paintball gun and shoot her. In the eye.

Generally, I like Kelly well enough. Anyone who was on Dance Party USA (I so wanted to be on that show) is going to have my affection. Even if she's a size 2 mother of three with like 7 jobs and oodles of money who plays up the whole ditz thing a little too much. But these appliance commercials are insulting MY intelligence and I don't play the ditz card. (I do not mean to say that I am never ditzy. Anyone who has ever seen me cook, drink more than 2 beers, or play a game that requires hand-eye coordination can attest to my ditziness. But I'm never playing. All my stupidity is real.)

Anyway, in case you're one of those people who never has to watch live TV anymore, the commercial or commercials (there may be more than 1 version) show Kelly rushing around a lovely home acting like she's a housewife who's busy life has been saved by using the appliances.

Who out there thinks that in addition to hosting with Regis and producing weird shows for TLC and maybe still being on All My Children (I have no idea about that one) and keeping her hot husband happy and hitting the gym for hours each day (I'm assuming) and spending time with her children that she takes the time out to do her family's laundry? Anyone? Bueller?

I don't know how much money she and her husband make. Possibly not as much as I'd thought, considering she's doing these stupid commercials. But still, I think she makes enough to have a cleaning lady. Or five.

And I don't have a problem with that.  Cleaning sucks (that's why I blog instead, after all). I will hire a cleaning lady of my own(maybe like Alice from Brady Bunch, but open about her sexuality) as soon as my blog starts making tons of money or I win the lottery. But I after I hire my cleaning lady, I will be changing the theme of my blog and I will NOT be posting about appliances. Because I won't be doing any fucking laundry.

So Kelly, do us all a favor. Tell the advertising team that we all know you're not really one of us and that you don't do your own laundry. You are a blonde from Jersey who appears on national television every day. Tell them to write you a believable commercial. Or else.