The Bitch Is Back

So yesterday I had an epiphany. Not the kind that will solve the healthcare crisis or even make the Jersey shore cast return to their natural selves (no steroids! no tanners! no saline!), but hey, it made me feel better.

For the longest time, I've been really slacking in the blog arena. Not keeping up with my favorite bloggers, not posting as much, not posting as well. I blamed it on writing for Demand Media and on not having as much time in general.

And that, dear readers, is bullshit.

I have been depressed and I haven't wanted to post about it. I've had a lot of excellent reasons to be depressed, but I haven't wanted to post about them either. In fact, I've been afraid to post about a lot of things, for fear of insulting or over-sharing with the people I know in real life who read this blog.

And it occurred to me yesterday that the more I worry about not living up to other people's expectations of me, the less I feel like myself. You're probably thinking, "Duh, it's so sad that you didn't figure that out when you were 20."

I did. But motherhood - and all the inherent expectations of "good" motherhood - made me forget. Then we moved back here to Stuck-Up (where not everyone is Stuck-Up, but you all know what I'm talking about) and I completely lost it.

I started imagining other people's expectations of me. It was like in my head I went back to the last time I lived here. In high school.  Do you have any idea what it's like to have a high school mentality and adult problems?

My head has been like a really bizarre episode of 16 and Pregnant.

And I am SO over it. If one of my posts offends you, I'm sorry. Feel free to write a nasty comment or ignore me at the grocery store. If you don't like me and you take it out on my kids (my greatest fear), I will kick your ass.

And if I've been ignoring your blog, I'm sorry. I'm back now.