You know that feeling after you've just ended a bad relationship, that mix of elation and dread? One minute you're happily belting out the Soupdragon's "I'm Free" and the next you're furtively throwing popcorn at the couple making out in front of you at the movie theater? (Um, that wasn't me. I'm just imagining here. You know, creative license.)
Last night I ended a bad relationship. Or rather, a bad part of a relationship. As this is really one of those relationships that never ends, just evolves. . .
ChunkyMonkey slept in another room last night.
A couple of months ago, ChunkyMonkey slept through the night, or only woke up once. But as he's gotten older, he's actually become a worse sleeper. I think he was bothered when Hot Guy and I came to bed, often at separate times. And I think I was so bothered by any noises he made in the night that I may have been a little too attentive. Suffice to say, this past week he's been waking every hour and a half.
So I have ended the first stage of our relationship. We're now sleeping in separate rooms.
When I went to bed last night, I felt a moment of freedom and joy as I flipped on the overhead light and the TV. And I think ChunkyMonkey felt it was right as well, since he slept from 8pm until 4:45am, and then went back to sleep until 7am. I haven't been so well-rested since. . .since that brief period when he was sleeping through the night.
But waking up this morning, well, I felt a little bit of the dread. A little bit of the "my last baby sleeps better without me and doesn't need me quite so much anymore" feeling. And thus I am tempted to throw popcorn at passing moms with newborns.
I won't, of course.
At least, not until ChunkyMonkey stops nursing and I'm really, really free. And sad.
9 comments:
Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your blog. I tagged you on mine today with the blog friends award.
a smile and tears at the same time! seems that is the MO of moms! glad you both got some good rest though!
awwww- it's okay and you'll be thankful in the long run. i promise!
So many stages and so much melancholy of motherhood. Try to enjoy enjoy your sleep -- there's still plenty to come!
Ahh... I remember that day. The break-up, feeling nervous and a little scared, wondering if this time it would stick or if you'd have to open yourself up again...
Glad it worked last night, hope it works again!
Becky - You'd better be! :)
DMLD - You are so sweet! Thank you!
Silken - I guess I just wasn't expecting it yet.
Merry - I was definitely not so torn up with the first two. Kindergarten. . . .heck, I'll probably cry when the oldest starts!
Jennster - Oh, definitely. Heck, it's been two days and I'm already more thankful!
Colleen - I know exactly how you feel about Grey's. I still record it, but I probably won't next season. And I won't be too sad about it, either.
PunditMom - That is definitely true.
VirtualSprite - Exactly! It's kinda working, that's the best I can say for it.
Totally feel you on this one! I have Googled pregnancy after tubal like 100 times since I weaned #3. Not a chance. Oh well, what's an infertile girl to do? Your blog is AWESOME!
Totally feel you on this one! I have Googled pregnancy after tubal like 100 times since I weaned #3. Not a chance. Oh well, what's an infertile girl to do? Your blog is AWESOME!
awwww- it's okay and you'll be thankful in the long run. i promise!
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