Recently I read a Family Circle magazine.
(Oh my God, I freaking read Family Circle on purpose, not because I finished my book while waiting for the doctor. When did I turn into a woman who enjoys Family Circle? My teenage self would be laughing her ass off, after she got over the other shocks like my weight, my almost natural hair color and the fact that I'm not driving a Mercedes. I always thought women who read it were conservative and boring and could cook. Have I become boring? I think I'm safe on conservative and able to cook)
I didn't look at the cover very closely, I just grabbed it because it was the most interesting publication within reach, since if I want tabloid trash I can just go to TMZ.com. Er, not that I ever do that or anything. And I'm pretty sure Cosmo is just recycling the same articles that they had in the '90's. Anyway, it wasn't until after I got home that I noticed the weigh-loss headline across the front.
Right over the picture of chocolate cake.
I read the weight-loss article, and nowhere did it mention: And don't make that cake on the cover with its seven layers of chocolate and cream and Oreos and whatnot. Just like the cake recipe didn't mention a lighter version. Hell, it didn't even mention how many calories were in it.
Family Circle is fucking with us.
Either we're supposed to bake that damn cake for our families and then not eat any or we need to work out for seven hours to burn its calories off because that's what the weight loss tips suggest.
Or, ya know, they could've put a low calorie dessert on the cover. Or left the title of the weight loss article off of the cover.
I'm just sayin'.
3 comments:
Oh my, didn't we all have great plans for ourselves when we were teenagers. I don't know about you, but I was sure dumb as hell! Looking at myself now I would not believe my hair, weight, and about a million other things (like the fact...OMG...I am so totally not a millionaire yet, what'sup with that?). But it's so much better than I ever could have imagined (because amazingly enough, the best part of life isn't being a size six with a ton of money and a BMW), and that's why life is worth living...for all the great surprises that blow our minds.
I hate that. And, I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that SS is not letting Cookie Monster sing C is for Cookie anymore -it's not a healthy message. WTF? He's the freaking COOKIE MONSTER.
I hate that. And, I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that SS is not letting Cookie Monster sing C is for Cookie anymore -it's not a healthy message. WTF? He's the freaking COOKIE MONSTER.
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