When I moved to Kansas City one of my favorite things to do was to go to the Beaumont. Despite all the traveling I'd done, the Beaumont was something completely new to me - a "country" bar and club. There was line dancing and two stepping and people in cowboy hats. There was a mechanical bull. And there were cheap jello shots. What could be more exciting to a girl from the New Jersey suburbs?
I quickly embraced line dancing, which seemed like a great way to sober up and cancel out those jello shots. I liked the flirting opportunities that the slow "couples" dancing provided. But for some reason, I could not learn to two step. Many cute (and possibly a few not so cute, but let's leave them out of it, okay?) guys in cowboy hats tried to teach me, but I never managed to learn. It was depressing. I was never athletic, never able to hit the ball or kick it in the right direction, but dancing I could always do.
Except the two-step. I still can't do it. It's like a foreign language to me. Except not. Because I was pretty good at foreign languages - hell, I can still read a lot of French. It's more like chemistry was for me. Although with chemistry, I had the misfortune of being in honors chemistry - though someone should have warned me that just because I was good at biology didn't mean I would be good at chemistry. The other challenge that I had with chemistry was that my teacher was crazy. Sometimes instead of having us do experiments during labs he would just do a double lecture about whatever was pissing him off that day. He also had a thick French accent, which made understanding what the hell he was talking about even more difficult for me.
But I guess the point is the same - chemistry still doesn't make sense to me and I still couldn't two-step if you paid me. I was thinking about them last night - chemistry and two-stepping - while I couldn't sleep (not that they were keeping me up, breastfeeding was). The two-stepping doesn't really matter, as the chances of me going to the Beaumont again are next to none. But I blame my chemistry ignorance on my inability to cook. And apparently I'm supposed to cook during this stay-at-home mom gig. And I wonder, I was able to understand algebra and trigonometry and ballet. . . why not chemistry and two-stepping? How is that possible?
So I ask you, dear internets, are there odd gaps in your abilities?
2 comments:
I'm not sure this counts, but it does bother me so here goes: I can cook, but I can't create. I have mad "follow recipe" skills, but don't ask me to create a dish. I will hyperventilate and break out into a cold sweat. You'd think after all the recipes I've made, I could begin to figure out what might make a good dish but, sadly, no. I can't do it.
I'm an excellent baker and a terrible cook.
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