Does This Make Me Resourceful or Tacky?

If you know me IRL and are the sensitive type, you might want to skip this post.

This morning while Ironflower was at camp, I took Lovebug to a park. I drove a few towns over to hit one of the few shady playgrounds I know, but Lovebug still got quite worn out. And I had to pee.  I decided to hit the Walgreen's near Ironflower's school, as we still had at least forty-five minutes before pick-up. But naturally Lovebug fell asleep. I didn't want to wake him up because I knew he was exhausted and an exhausted Lovebug would make pick-up a pain in the ass.

I drove slowly closer to Ironflower's school, trying to think of a safe way to allow Lovebug to sleep and me to pee. My bladder seemed to grow exponentially, the way it does when you're pregnant ( I realize I'm only five months, but my body seems to think I'm seven months - in size and bladder issues, anyway. Whoever said the third time's a charm was NOT talking about pregnancy.) Things were getting desperate.

Especially when I remembered that the Walgreen's doesn't have a public restroom. My other options were: McDonald's (where Lovebug would have a fit because we weren't staying), Starbuck's (where I would have to buy something I didn't want) or dragging Lovebug into Ironflower's school, peeing, and dragging him back out again (or hanging in the hallway for thirty minutes).

Then I remembered Ironflower's potty. It's her own personal porta-potty right in the back of the minivan. It was the perfect solution. I pulled down a quiet residential street. Reluctant to climb through the van, I climbed out and went around to the back. I climbed in and even managed to shut the door (those doors, BTW, are not designed to be closed from the inside). I glanced around. Seeing no one, I pulled down my pants and sat on the teeny, tiny potty (meanwhile, Lovebug slept on). I filled the damn thing, but nothing spilled. I used a baby wipe.

I stood up (as much as possible, anyway) and noticed a woman and her little girl walking straight at the minivan. I sat down (meanwhile, Lovebug slept on).

I stood up after they passed by, wanting nothing more in the world but to pull my pants up. I got them halfway up before seeing the woman with the dog. I knelt down and struggled to pull my pants the rest of the way up while hiding behind Lovebug's seat (meanwhile, Lovebug slept on). Then I climbed over the stroller and . . . .

realized that I couldn't get out the back door. So I squeezed through the middle seats (meanwhile, Lovebug slept on) and . . .

realized that I couldn't get out the side doors, either. I was going to have to climb to the front seat (meanwhile, Lovebug slept on).

I tried to close the little table that sits between the two front seats but it seemed stuck. All this had taken quite awhile, so I became concerned that we'd actually be late for pick-up. I didn't relish calling the school to tell them that I would be late because I was stuck in the back of my own minivan. So I started to climb.

It took about five minutes for me to cover the two feet (meanwhile, Lovebug slept on). But I did it.

Then I went out the front door, walked around to the back, tried to look innocent while yet another woman walked by, and removed the potty. I surreptitiously dumped it on a nearby lawn. (Because what if Ironflower wanted to use it after I picked her up? She couldn't have, it was TOTALLY full. I HAD to empty it.)

Then I slunk back into the car and we went to pick Ironflower up at school. Lovebug slept through the whole shebang.