6/20/2008

Am I Losing It?

Maybe it's the lack of adult conversation, but I can't seem to focus on one topic long enough to write a coherent post.  So instead I give you a smorgasbord of the thoughts roaming through my head.

1. Does anyone else think that the trains on the Thomas the Tank Engine DVDs look slightly sinister with those shifty eyes?

2. If they can make fake boobs, fake vaginas and wrinkle-less fifty year olds, why can't they make a fake uterus? I realize there's a special joy in carrying your child in your womb, but I'd be willing to let go of that joy if I could tuck NewBaby into a safe little synthetic womb (maybe I'd keep him in the bedroom?) and knock back a few martinis, wear my seatbelt in a comfortable position and go on a rollercoaster with my kids (not necessarily in that order).

3. I want to be half as clever as the Daily Show writer who came up with this line in response to Bush's delayed visit to flood damaged Iowa:, the response to Katrina and Kanye West's rant:  "George Bush doesn't care about wet people."

4. I think the Bible should come with the subtitle, "Inspired by God." I know that some people think the Bible is the word of God, but S/He wrote it through flawed humans two or so thousand years ago, plus it's been translated through a number of languages (game of Telephone, anyone?) and even had some parts excised (it's true, look it up).

5. Why can't we have a national (or even international) DNA database? If our government can tap our phones and find out what we check out of the library without a warrant (thanks, Patriot Act!) is privacy something we can really be whining about anymore? Besides, I'd rather have my DNA on file than my penchant for trashy mysteries.

6. I'm only halfway through this pregnancy and I already have freaking carpal tunnel. I got it with Ironflower, but not until I was at least 30 weeks. With Lovebug I barely had it at 34 weeks - and he was born at 38 weeks. Is it because I'm older, fatter or just plain unluckier this time? What's weird is that both times before I was swelling when I got it. I'm not swelling now - all my rings and shoes fit just fine, but I have carpal tunnel. Grrrrr.

7. M&Ms are not as much fun as vodka.

8. I ordered new cell phones today - our icky Verizon contract ends next week. My new phone is pink! That probably shouldn't make me so excited.

7 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

My favorite comment about Bush and Katrina came from Kinky Freidman when he was running for governor here in Texas.

Incumbent and Bush clone Rick Perry said he planned to work closely with the Bush administration to get many of the 25 million illiegal immigrants out of the country.

Freidman chimed in with this classic "The Bush administration couldn't get 25,00 people out of the Superdome, how is he going to get 25 million Mexicans out of the country?"

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I'm sorry M&Ms are good like vodka. Maybe a non-alchololic beer?

Meredith said...

Do you think they might have vodka flavored Jelly Bellys? They have flavors for everything else, they should definitely do some liquor ones.

Cathy said...

There are margarita flavored jelly beans - my son loves 'em. =)
Also - number two cracks me up!

Leslie said...

Amen to #4.

Meredith said...

Do you think they might have vodka flavored Jelly Bellys? They have flavors for everything else, they should definitely do some liquor ones.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I'm sorry M&Ms are good like vodka. Maybe a non-alchololic beer?