Enough With The Drama Already

I like to think of myself as strong. As someone who doesn't take any crap (at least, not since I left my first husband). I like to think of myself as the kind of person who HANDLES things.

But as I've read over your comments on my last few posts, I realize that that woman seems to have left the building. Why am I taking all this crap and letting these people scare me? I'm THIRTEEN WEEKS today. This is when the FUN part starts. I should be happy. Soon nausea and exhaustion will be a faint memory, my maternity pants will stay up and the threat of miscarriage is now tiny. When I got to do this date with Ironflower, I was filled with joy.

Now it seems every week there's been a new fear, a new stress. And I resent that. This is my last pregnancy. I should be happy, not shaking because the doctors are convinced that my old age (not one of them has mentioned my being overweight already, which you'd think would make a bigger difference) is turning this pregnancy into a melodrama.

Thank you guys for being so supportive and kind about the fact that my backbone went on vacation. It's back now (no pun intended). So I checked out midwife options, but unfortunately I don't really have any. All the (few) midwives around here seem to be about home births, which is not an option for a c-section veteran like myself (I know some people have VBACs, but I'm not going to be one of them, trust me). So I'm going to see a new doctor in my practice next week - one that the women in my playgroup say they like. If I don't like her, I'm going to look for a new practice. I'm also going to ask her to explain in detail why they think I need all these tests and make the decision for my ownself. (Although the idea of finding out NewBaby's gender in just three weeks makes a compelling argument for the early anatomy scan)

I promise I'm going to try to catch up on all of your blogs this weekend. I'm sorry I've been such a bad bloggy friend. Oh, I'm also going to try to catch up on emails, for those of you who've emailed me in the past month. :) I promise.