So let's talk about something close to my heart: bars.
Before I had children, I spent a lot of my social time in bars. Bars combined some of my favorite activities; people watching, football watching, trivia playing, drinking and smoking. Just typing that makes me long for the good old days - or at least one gloomy fall day in a sports bar with my friends Mimi and Lauren, several football games, an NTN trivia board and a pitcher of beer. Or maybe a table on the patio of a brewpub, with a perfect view of all the crazy people walking through the neighborhood. Or possibly. . . .
Ahem, I seem to have gotten a bit distracted. My point was that no one loves a good bar more than I do. And yet it's never occurred to me to bring my children to one. How I missed this stroller ban drama, I'll never know. Apparently some bar in Brooklyn tried to ban strollers which enraged the local parents. Where else could they meet on rainy afternoons?
Uh. . . .a coffee shop? Library? Someone's house? Restaurant? Book store?
Personally, I like to imbibe when my children are already asleep or (even better) when someone else is taking care of them. I think it's a slippery slope when you (I) pop open "just one" bottle of wine at a playdate.
But let's suppose that these parents have more self-control than I do, okay? I still think the idea of pushing your stroller - or carrying your Baby Bjorn - into a bar is ridiculous. We're not talking about bar/restaurants, either. Apparently, these parents don't think they should have to "give up their lifestyles" just because they've had children.
I think that's fine to a point - if they have money for sleek, designer children's furniture/toys/clothes, good for them. I think it's fine if they bring well-behaved children to nice restaurants. More power to them if they want to take their toddlers to Paris. But I've gotta draw the line at taking your kids to Happy Hour.
What do you think?
16 comments:
I'm going to have to agree with you. I can't really imagine taking Litle Elvis to a smoky bar. I can't imagine all of the fun stuff he would find on the floor and don't even want to think about how he likes to grab at everyone's glass and try to drink out of it.
I think part of being a parent is being mature enough to know not to take your baby/toddler into certain situations. Your life does change after having a baby. These people need to admit that.
Is it bad that your title with lemonade and tequila was very attractive before noon? Afterall, this is Monday right, that means anything goes!
This made me think of that scene in "Sweet Home Alabama" when Melanie says, "Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar. "
Uhm, hire a babysitter people! Kids don't need to be around drunks (and I'm not necessarily talking about the parents - all bars have at least one person who has had a bit too much). The language and subject matter isn't really minded in a bar either. Do your children need to overhear what goes on in adult conversations sometimes?
I do enjoy a good bar on rare occasions, but not with my kids in tow.
AHH! DB took my line from Sweet Home Alabama. That is WRONG. 1st, don't have kids if they are going to cramp your style & ruin your life 2nd, do you want your young child dying from the amount of second hand smoke they'll be inhaling? 3rd, what kind of example are you setting. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.
I can't imagine bringing my kids to a bar. That just seems so bizzare. (I don't even like taking my kids into the liquor store with me. ) I guess of all the places I could think of to get together with other parents and kids a bar would be about the last place.
Bars are definitely for the over 21 set, period. When I go to a bar I don't want to see kids! I drink BECAUSE of the kids. Can you imagine the amount of vodka I would have to drink if their were children there to bother me?
That said, we had Eeyore's fifth birthday at a bar. But it was also a pizza place. But it was mostly a bar. We did it in the afternoon though. So, thats totally ok, right?
I think the problem with that one is that it's a pizzeria and bar. If they ban the kids, they might be losing a good amount of business on the pizza part.
there are some beach bars, backyard type of places and in the summer the parents wheel their kids in the little red wagons. even though the place is like someone's backyard, i just find it NOT my style.
I haven't been to a bar since... umm.... oh, yes, Mom's night out at a karaoke place. There were certainly no children invited or present. It was lovely. : ) (Well, the no kids part. The karaoke was another story).
As someone who took my toddler to Paris, I gotta say: I would never take them to a bar.
We do go to LOTS of restaurants that happen to HAVE bars, however. Don't most restaurants??
But I always give people the benefit- what if the couple with the 3 year old in a bar eating chicken fingers just flew in from another city, and that happened to be the only place open at 10:30 at night? Does that make them "bad" parents?
Here the law is 21 and up. You'd think it would be a no brainer. Kids and alcohol not only don't mix, but it's also illegal in most circumstances- for good reason.
This reminds me of a story a friend of mine told...He was shooting a movie (he's an actor) in some small town in Middle America (you know, one where people are "bitter".) He met a guy who was a successful local business owner. This guy had just finished construction on his latest investment...a combination nightclub / childcare center. This way patrons who couldn't afford babysitters ('cause in small towns they often can't) could still venture out at night and whoop it up even if they have a load of kids. So, on one side you had drinking, smoking, and dancing, and on the other was playing, singing and pooping. I wondered, did the parents have to take a sobriety test before they were given back their kids?
Hmmm... taking my son to a bar.... nope, never happened, and it will not happen until he is 18 (or is it 21 the legal age in NY - I have no idea since I am an implant moved in from far away, where rules are more vague, and I am not up to date with Manhattan's customs). But I'll check the rules before I take him to a bar anyway. After I gave birth even I did not go out to bars all that much. Once every other year maybe - I guess I was in a bar a total of about 5 times in the past 9 years. Compare this with 3 times a week (every Friday, Saturday and Sunday) before I got married ... On the other hand we go to restaurants severally times every week now. Oh, the sacrifices we make...
But I guess people try to connect to their kids over a beer??? It's true, in February we spent one week in Barcelona and went out to eat in tapas bars - but they are not really bars but restaurants with smaller portions that serve drinks as well (all restaurants serve drinks, right?).
What I really don't understand is what are the kids entertaining themselves with in the bar??? How can you really relax in front of a martini with 4 screaming babies 2 steps away? And let's not even talk about what it does to the hook up scene to have a (several) poopy diaper(s) steps away from you ...
I think most parents have to decide on this for themselves. I have taken my two lil tykes to a restaurant with a bar attached. They mostly slept through it, as I was hoping they would. A dark, noisy, smoky, disco-type bar is probably a different matter - they wouldn't be able to sleep and I wouldn't want them inhaling all that smoke. But banning it? I mean, parents can also smoke and drink at home, right? You can't ban that. You should only ban it if - like smoking in public - it troubles other people.
I can't really picture taking our child to a bar, and maybe we're old-fashioned. Who knows. I like bars and I like drinking, but I'm an adult. Bars are appropriate places for adults, rather than children. Also, when you have kids, your priorities and responsibilities change, and you have to make sacrifices. If that means sacrificing your happy hour, then do it. When you want to go out for a wild, crazy night, find a sitter! There have been times, when I'm sitting at my favorite bar in KC, and people have brought in their child's entire little league team to go out to eat after a game. Umm....what ever happened to McDonalds?! Those kids aren't going to know the difference between a $6 burger and a $1 burger. Now I'm getting off on a whole other topic....so, I'll stop! :)
When our oldest was a baby and still in the infant car seat, we used to bring him out with us to our local pub for dinner and beer...kind of a bar, I guess. No smoking, but still pub-like atmosphere. We were new parents with no babysitter and needed to get out for our sanity!
Sure kids belong in bars. Where else can they go that the adults piss in their pants and vomit at random?
I think most parents have to decide on this for themselves. I have taken my two lil tykes to a restaurant with a bar attached. They mostly slept through it, as I was hoping they would. A dark, noisy, smoky, disco-type bar is probably a different matter - they wouldn't be able to sleep and I wouldn't want them inhaling all that smoke. But banning it? I mean, parents can also smoke and drink at home, right? You can't ban that. You should only ban it if - like smoking in public - it troubles other people.
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