Every time I bring Ironflower to school, I thank the gods that she's in her particular class. It's not just that she has a veteran teacher or that the kids in her class are all very sweet. It's that none of the moms freak me out. They are all nice and normal and sane. And that's saying a lot around here.
There are a lot of disturbing women around Stuck-Up and a large number of them seem to have children at Ironflower's preschool. So every time I go to drop off or pick up I see these women and cringe. And shudder. And begin to sweat. Much like I am having an anxiety attack. I don't know whether it's that I fear turning into them or that I fear having to make small talk with them, but the reaction is much the same.
Maybe I'm over-reacting. I sort of hope I am. That's where you come in. I'm going to describe the women and you're going to tell me if they would make you nervous too. Well, you don't have to tell me. I just mean that I'd appreciate it.
The Women Who Make Me Nervous (in no particular order):
1. The woman who had a meltdown when her two healthy sons drank out of the same cup.
2. The woman who wears the white fur coat, sweatpants and mules to drop off and pick up.
3. The woman who spent the parent meeting going off about the waste accumulated by using juice boxes. . . .and then went out and got into her Hummer.
4. Missy.
5. The woman who wears her hottie tennis outfit (short skirt and short sleeved-shirt) and nothing else to drop off and pick up. In January. In New Jersey.
6. The woman who routinely backs her Lexus SUV out of a parking space while talking on the phone, drinking Starbucks, rifling through her purse and without looking in her mirrors.
7. The woman who regularly steps in front of the children filing into a classroom so that she can talk to the teacher, regardless of established classroom and politeness procedures. She then blocks the door for the first five minutes of the school day.
8. The woman who wears the full-length mink coat and sweat pants when volunteering.
9. The woman who said, "Well, he sure has a lot of free time" about one of the regular pick up/drop off dads.
10. The women who wear spike heeled/pointy toed boots, spackle-level make-up, creased jeans and designer tops to go to the preschool and the grocery store.
Those women are weird, right? It's not me, is it?
10 comments:
Geez...they are everywhere, huh? I Have begun volunteering at school ONLY when I think there will be no other mothers there.
All the mothers at my sons preschool are like this, probably because most of them have no money worries at all. I have many so they all look down their noses at me. Even the moms from the U.S air base (I'm in the U.K) look down their noses at me. I've never known a more unfriendly group of women and I really don't want to ever be like them.
I just don't understand women like that. I don't have kids but I know I'll be scared of these types when I do.
You know? I think these women have lousy home lives. They try to flaunt, because their husbands are screwing their personal assistants. You must avoid them.
I think I sweat more over the small talk issue...if any of them would even deign to make small talk w/ the likes of me!
LunaNik - Don't worry, they will never try to drag me into the cult - my good clothes are from Old Navy.
Cris - It's almost reassuring to know that they are in other places.
Life - They dress like that at soccer games?
Becky - I guess there's a Stuck-Up everywhere.
Amanda - I usually get pity looks. I think I'd rather get sneers.
Lottifish - Do a lot of neighborhood research before you have kids. There's got to be a place filled with cool moms somewhere.
Cuz - You are so sweet.
AFF - I like that idea about the lousy home lives.
Leslie - Hehe. They do look like they are kinda intimate with sticks.
Thalia's Child - Unfortunately I have to see them at parent meetings. But I never turn my back. Or go anywhere alone.
Silken - They don't usually talk to me either - and for that I am grateful.
oh my gosh, number 3 is the BEST.. GIVE me one good reason to own a hummer ?? seriously ?? one benefit to anyone ?? found you thru caffeine court ...adding you to my blogroll !!
OMG how funny! I thought I was freaked out by the crazy Jersey moms because I was from CT. Good to hear someone agrees!
Maybe there is a wormhole or something that transports these women to my kid's school everyday...I KNOW them!!! And they are most definitely freaks.
Why is number 9 the one that p's me off the most?
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