12/26/2007

A Public Service Announcement from Jerseygirl89

Most people know not to utter racial or sexual slurs, at least not in public. Most people refrain from insulting people's looks or fashion choices to their faces. Most people understand the rules of civilized society.

But for some reason they think that those rules don't apply to pregnant women.

"You're so big!" they say with a smile. "Are you having twins?" they ask sweetly. "Looks like you're having a linebacker!" they exclaim cheerfully.

Would they say those things if someone was just fat? I think not.

I am short. And what little height I do have is in my legs. The space between my hip bone and my bottom rib fits nothing larger than a four month fetus. So when I was pregnant, I went from barely noticeable to needing maternity clothes very quickly. And then I had good-sized babies. So by the end of each pregnancy I was a freaking HOUSE. And I knew this. I mean, it's hard not to notice when you've turned into such a water buffalo that half of your maternity clothes don't fit.

Yet people still felt compelled to comment on my size. And I was too exhausted (I actually got more sleep after my babies were born that I did for the final months of my pregnancies) and too emotional (pregnancy hormones and all) to react properly. Because all I would say is, "Yeah, I know, right."

So, essentially, I let those rude people get away with disrespecting me. So, to those of you who are currently pregnant, DON'T LET THEM DO IT.

Here are some appropriate responses:

1. Did you just call me fat?
2. My baby and I are healthy, thank you so much for inquiring.
3. You're so tall/short/fat/thin/old!
4. Bless your heart, you're so rude.
5. Are you trying to hurt my feelings, or are you just stupid?
6. It's okay to keep some thoughts to yourself, you know.
7. The doctor says I'm as big as I'm supposed to be.

And for all of you who feel compelled to make comments about pregnant women's sizes, SHUT UP.

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you the SO BIG Pregnant Women's Foundation of America.

5 comments:

daddy drivel said...

Bummer, I thought this one was going to be about Jamie Lynn Spears.

silken said...

hear! hear! that and people touching your belly are enough to drive pregnant women to insane violence (well, maybe the hormones have something to do w/ it...)

Leslie said...

I love your comebacks. I'm filing them away for future reference.

Merry Jelinek said...

I love number 5... It didn't bother me much with my first - though the mothers who would tell you how painful it was... I thought that was just a little mean... why worry me about what I'm in for when it's too late to turn around?

My third pregnancy, though, I was a house!!! Seriously, I was huge and it was all in my stomach, which made walking really difficult by the last month... add the fact that my oldest was in preschool and very active and my second was going on two... and we'll just say I was comedy in motion... clunky, uncomfortable motion... I have one picture of myself at that girth, because my friend in Florida requested it, as she'd been living there through all of my pregnancies and wanted to see what I looked like 'glowing'

She thought I was cute - she's very kind... I got a lot of stares at dinner tables... a lot of, 'You're huge!!!' all from people I know well... maybe it's because I ballooned up so much from my normal size... maybe they're just mean...

After a while I formed a standard reply "My baby's due in May, when are you going to lose your weight?"

Most of the time that shuts them up - even if they don't need a diet, they get a little self conscious about it.

Merry Jelinek said...

I love number 5... It didn't bother me much with my first - though the mothers who would tell you how painful it was... I thought that was just a little mean... why worry me about what I'm in for when it's too late to turn around?

My third pregnancy, though, I was a house!!! Seriously, I was huge and it was all in my stomach, which made walking really difficult by the last month... add the fact that my oldest was in preschool and very active and my second was going on two... and we'll just say I was comedy in motion... clunky, uncomfortable motion... I have one picture of myself at that girth, because my friend in Florida requested it, as she'd been living there through all of my pregnancies and wanted to see what I looked like 'glowing'

She thought I was cute - she's very kind... I got a lot of stares at dinner tables... a lot of, 'You're huge!!!' all from people I know well... maybe it's because I ballooned up so much from my normal size... maybe they're just mean...

After a while I formed a standard reply "My baby's due in May, when are you going to lose your weight?"

Most of the time that shuts them up - even if they don't need a diet, they get a little self conscious about it.