Plastic Wrap or Dental Dam?

(Today's post contains adult topics. If you are prude or related to me, you may want to skip this post.)

Last week Hubby helped film a documentary. One of the places he filmed was at an AIDS day party (at a church filled with drag queens. How come nothing like that ever happens to me?). Naturally, he grabbed the swag they were handing out.

After he got home, he left me alone with the swag. I eagerly went through it, nodding at the colorful condoms and AIDS ribbon. The tiny tubes of lube reminded me of samples from the make-up counter. They were so cute. Then I pulled out something I didn't recognize. It looked like plastic wrapping and I looked for what must have fallen out of it. But there was nothing else in the bag. Confused, I called to Hubby and showed him the wrapping. "What's this?" I asked.

"You don't know?" he asked incredulously. So incredulously, in fact, that I thought he was messing with me. I shook my head, waiting for the punch line. "It's a dental dam," he explained. "You do know what a dental dam is, right?"

And it occurred to me, for all my purported sophistication and knowledge, that I had never actually seen a dental dam. They don't show them on HBO's Real Sex or G-String Divas. "I know what one is," I replied, "but I've never actually seen one." Hubby put it over his mouth to indicate how it's used. "Oh," I said while thinking, "Ick."

I know that's a terrible thing to say. I really AM a firm believer is safe sex and all that. But when Hubby showed me how a dental dam is used, I suddenly understood why some men have such an aversion to condoms. Not that I don't think everyone having sex, of whatever persuasion, should be safe. But the idea of the using the dental dam over my vajayjay (as Oprah would say) . . . .not the least bit appealing. No wonder my old friend Beth had been in no hurry to lose her virginity to her girlfriend.

But, um, what I'd really like to know is - am I the only straight woman in her thirties who had no idea what a dental dam looked like?