Green Is Not My Color

In high school, I did my best to look cool. My blond hair was scrunched (though in my defense I will say that my bangs did not stick straight up, as my preppy high school deemed the gravity defying bangs of the '80's trashy). My Guess jeans were tight. My Bennetton sweater was large and fuzzy. My lips were pink and sticky. My blush was vivid and hot pink. My mascara was thick and black. And my eyeliner was sky blue.

Never mind that I wasn't cool, of course. I was a theater geek and a bookworm. Even kissing boys freaked me out until senior year. But I looked like the "cool" people, so I was able to be friends with lots of different people. Which was a blessing and a curse, I guess.

In the fall of 1986, the blue mascara trend hit my high school. So one day while shopping with my indulgent mother in New York City, I saw something even better: green mascara. And not even forest green. It was kelly green. It was being sold in some store with a snotty French name so I just had to have it. My mother gave in and I could hardly wait to wear it to school. I was taking a trend and making it my own (never mind the countless other women who'd bought the mascara that day, even). I could tell everyone I got it IN THE CITY. How cool was I?

I wore the mascara the same day a wore a sweater of a similar hue. I felt awesome as I walked into French class. I liked French, mainly because after three years of Latin it seemed really easy. But also because my friend E sat behind me. And because a boy I had a small crush on, T, sat in front of me. E was a hippie theater geek with a great sense of humor. I wish I could say I had a crush on him. Instead I had a crush on T, who had the brain of a ferret and the personality of a lemming. But he was cute.

Anyway, as soon as I sat down E started laughing. I turned and raised my eyebrows at him. "Your face," he said. I quickly opened my Liz Claiborne purse and took out my Shine Free powder compact. I saw pink glossy lips, sky blue eyeliner, green mascara, a hint of lavender eyeshadow, a hint of green eyeshadow to go with the mascara. . ."What?" I asked E.

"Your eye make-up looks like you did it with highlighters," said E. "I got this mascara in the city, " I replied defensively. "Oh, well that makes it all better then, " said E sarcastically. Then T joined in by asking me if I liked it.

"I thought it would be cool, " I said, suddenly realizing that that hadn't been his question.

I'd like to say that that was the last beauty blunder I made, but that would be a lie. It was the last one that I made solely because I was trying to be cool. It was also that last time that I went into the girl's locker room during French class (bathroom passes were so easy to get in those days) and searched through all of my friends' lockers until I finally found make-up remover. But that's another story.

This post brought to you by the Parent Bloggers Network in honor of Nadine Haobsh's new beauty guide, Beauty Confidential.