10/22/2007

Yet Another Reason Why Junk Food Is Bad For You

I suppose it's my fault for allowing my children (and myself) to eat McDonald's. In Kansas City, ordering at Mickey D's went something like this:

Me: I'd like a number three, no pickles, no onions, with diet Coke.
Immigrant making sure her children finish college: Okay. Anything else?

Then I would order for the children and Hot Guy in much the same fashion. Then I would bring the correct order home and we would eat. But here in Stuck-Up, McDonald's isn't even allowed to have a drive-through - you have to take your junk-eating ass right inside to get your crack (er, food, Hot Guy and I just call it crack because it's addictive, isn't it?). So today I ventured in, because Ironflower wanted it and Hubby wanted it and who am I to argue?

Me: I'd like a number three, no pickles, no onions, with a diet Coke.

Teenager: You want a number three meal?
(For those of you who don't frequent McDonald's, the only numbers on the menu are meals. There are numbers for NOTHING else.)

Me: Yes, no pickles or onions and a diet Coke.

Teenager working for drug money: You don't want pickles or onions?

Me: That's right. No pickles or onions and I want my drink to be Diet Coke.

Teenager who inhaled last week's paycheck before coming to work: What do you want to drink?

Me: DIET COKE.

Teenager: Do you want anything else?

Me: A number nine with Hi-C to drink. (when the Happy Meal toys are crappy and the kids not present we have them split a grown up meal because we're cheap like that)

Teenager whose bong is his best friend: Do you want the Chicken McNugget meal? (See above about what numbers mean at McDonald's)

Me: That's what a number nine is.

Teenager who may have had brain damage before discovering weed: So what do you want to drink?

Me: Hi-C.

Teenager: Do you want anything else?

Me: An Angus Deluxe Meal with a diet Coke.

Teenager who must have been very, very stoned: You want an Angus Deluxe?

Me: I want the Angus Deluxe MEAL.

Teenager who must have been more stoned than I got in Amsterdam: So you want fries and a drink?

Me (pointing to a picture of an Angus Deluxe Meal): I want an Angus Deluxe, fries and a Diet Coke.

Teenager who must have been using all the brain cells he has left to stand upright: What do you want to drink?

Me: Diet Coke. And nothing else. (there was a HUGE line of people behind me at this point and I was starting to feel bad for them)

Teenager who does not have a future in fast food but whose ability to smoke copious amounts of weed will impress his future college roommates: Do you want anything else?

Me: NO!

Then he had to get the order. I had to suggest a drink holder. And bags for the food. It took him about ten minutes to assemble the order, even though all the food was ready. I think I saw him use his fingers to count out the fries.

As I turned to leave I noticed that the entire line of people had moved to the other cashier's register. They all smirked at me.

5 comments:

captain corky said...

Um... I've never been that guy. ;)

Tracy said...

Thanks for the laugh.

Leslie said...

We have a similar McDonald's experience here, except they rarely get it right. (I order all my burgers with no pickles and no onions, too! We're Fast Food Friends!)

The bad thing is, I live in such a small town, inevitably one of the playgroup moms will spot our vehicle at McDonald's. Yeah, I'm the bad mom who lets her kid eat hot dogs that aren't organic, didn't make her own baby food and takes her kids to McDonald's. I'm PURE EVIL.

Leslie said...

We have a similar McDonald's experience here, except they rarely get it right. (I order all my burgers with no pickles and no onions, too! We're Fast Food Friends!)

The bad thing is, I live in such a small town, inevitably one of the playgroup moms will spot our vehicle at McDonald's. Yeah, I'm the bad mom who lets her kid eat hot dogs that aren't organic, didn't make her own baby food and takes her kids to McDonald's. I'm PURE EVIL.

captain corky said...

Um... I've never been that guy. ;)